I'm NOT a faggot (UNDER EDITING)

- Chapter 29 -

Pov Nathan
Ding Dong! I jumped up at that sound, knowing who it was.
"I'll get it!" Angela shouted from the hallway and opened up the front door.
"Hi Jace, get in"
"T-thanks" I heard him say and opened the door to the hall. He had a little suitcase on wheels with him, dragging it along as he went.
"Let me help you with that" I said and took his suitcase. He smiled weakly, not really looking at me.
"I-I'm really glad I can stay here for a few days" he said.
"No problem" Angela smiled.
"Maria explained everything, you're more than welcome here"
"Come on, lets get you all set up" I said and picked up his stuff, carrying it upstairs.
"I can do that myself, you know" he said as he followed me.
"Nonesense, your mom said you still have to rest a lot and the doctor said you can't do any heavy lifting or anything like that for the time being" I said and dropped the suitcase on my bed.
"And I'm taking care of my boyfriend, cause I love him"
"I-I love you to" he smiled and looked around, like searching for something.
"Where do I sleep?"
"The bed" I simply said.
"And where do you sleep?" he asked, slightly confused.
"It's a big bed" I stated and saw him blush just a little bit.
"Oh... Wanna help me unpack?" he asked as he opened his suitcase.
"Sure" I smiled and we started making place in my closet for his clothes and on my desk for his school books. It was actually rather fun when he gave his critical opinion about some stuff we found in my room I thought were lost forever.
"Guys, dinner is ready" Angela said and walked in without knocking or anything. But I guess she always does that so I'm kinda used to it.
"We're coming, give us a sec" I said as I shoved Jace's suitcase under the bed.
"Okidoki" she said and left, leaving the door open.
"Come on, lets go" I said but Jace held me back. He pulled me in close and kissed me passionately. I gasped in surprise and he didn't hesitate to put his tongue in my mouth. His hands wandered down and grabbed my ass, massaging it gently. I was overwhelmed by the feeling and pulled his head closer to mine, letting my hand explore his soft hair. After a solid few minutes he pulled back and wiped his mouth.
"So, what's for dinner?" he asked casually.
"I-I don't know..." I whispered. His hands were still on my butt, kneading. It felt good, I wasn't gonna lie.
"You're so cute when you're all messed up" he smirked and let one hand go through my hair.
"Come on or Angela is gonna ask questions"

"So what was that all about?" I asked after dinner as we were back in my room.
"What do you mean?" he asked while spinning around in my chair.
"Your sudden love attack on me before we ate" I stated and he grinned.
"Just a token of my gratitude" he smiled and stopped spinning.
"I know you like it when my hands are on your ass so don't try to hide it Wheeler"
He got up and climbed in bed, where I was sitting. He crawled in my lap and let his hands slip down my pants, grabbing my butt. I blushed and looked away but he wasn't gonna leave it at this.
"Love me" he whispered seductively and started to kiss my neck before his hands started moving, kneading my ass to his liking. He trailed down and sucked on my collar bone, causing me to moan. Before I knew it he started moving against me and my body heated up. Especially my lower area... But he was getting hard as well, leaving love bites all over my neck.
"J-Jaaacee~" I moaned and synchronized with his movements. He stopped the kissing and just stared at me while he kept grinding against me and kneading my ass. One of his hands came back up and he gave me a soft smile.
"Please..." he asked on a begging tone and placed his hand over my boner.
"Let me please you~"
I didn't react and he started to mess with the buttons on my pants.
"I don't know" I said and took his hand, preventing him from stripping me. He looked sad and a bit insulted, guilty that he even tried in the first place.
"Am I not good enough for you Nate?" he asked with a broken voice.
"I want nothing more than for you to touch me... I long for you... Why don't you feel the same about me?"
He got his hand out my pants and pulled the other one lose from my grip.
"I-I'm not good enough... How could I ever think I was? I'm just a failure..." he whispered and crawled back off me. He stood up from the bed and got something from the closet.
"I-I'm gonna take a shower"
After that he disappeared. I just sat there, frozen, in shock. Where did all of this suddenly come from? He acted like this in the hospital as well, but he always fell asleep after I told him not to. He was always disappointed, nonetheless, but still... He's never been like this... I got up and sighed, sitting down in my big black chair. How could I be so clueless about his own feelings? I was so caught up in this illusion that I needed to nurse him that I totally forgot to really love him. Why was I holding back anyway? Like he said himself, I wanted him to touch me there. Even thinking about it could turn me on. So why was I such a pussy?! I sighed and slammed my desk in frustration. That was when I noticed a small brown notebook. It wasn't mine, so it was probably Jace's. I opened it without thinking and started browsing through it until I reached the final entry.

Dear Jack
I'm finally allowed to leave the hospital. I believe I've never been so happy to get back to school than in this moment. I'm so tired of staring at those same four walls day in day out... The cards of people who care are limited, but I'm thankful for them. It makes me feel like I matter, you know? I can already hear you thinking... No Jack, you're wrong. I don't matter to a lot of people. Look at me, I'm a breathing mess... I'm never gonna be the best at anything, I'm just gonna be kicked around... Doomed to roll into the glass shards forever... To suffer. I'm not you, Jack. I'm not perfect. John was right. I'm a failure. I can't do anything right... But at least I have someone who cares, even if it's just a little bit... I love Nathan, with whole my heart. All I want is to make him mine and stay with him until the end of times. But he rejects me every time I want to take our relationship a step further. I get the feeling he doesn't want me to touch him... That I was just a nice distraction from everything. But now that I cleared the clouds and his life is all rainbows and sunshine again I don't know if he'll stick with me... I wish you were here Jack... I'll always miss you...
Love
Jace