- Chapter 35 -

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Pov Nathan
Jace was just crying in my arms. He just finished telling me his past and I haven't really reacted to it. He killed his own brother not even a year ago... A brother that meant everything to him. But on the other hand seemed this Jackson to be the favorite one while Jace always ended second place. I shook my head. What was I thinking? I couldn't even imagine if it were Angela and I in that situation... Guess I know why he likes martial arts that much now... Or why he was so closed at the beginning. He never shared anything private, only the superficial stuff, like how the weather had been or which color he liked. None of us really knew who he was and today only one of his secrets came out. His depression... But the secret he kept about his brother was so much more.
"I-I'm so so sorry" he whispered through the tears.
"I'm a fuck up... A complete fuck up... The only thing I can do better than anyone else is hurting others... B-but I don't want to kill anymore Nathan... I-I never wanted to be a killer... P-pl-please... Say something"
He looked my in the eye with begging puppy eyes. He was so broken... And nobody saw it. Nobody thought that Jason Anderson, the cool kid, was actually just a scared little boy, hiding behind a thick wall he build around himself.
"I don't think you're evil, Jason" I started.
"But I don't know what to think exactly... You think it's in your blood, that your father will always haunt you. I don't think that's true. You can be whoever you want Jace and you're not second best in everything. I mean, look at you! You've banned the witch, tamed the dragon and slayed all of my fears in the time you've been here. You ace your classes, Simon told me so himself. You're a genius in the making and I believe in you"
"S-so you don't think I'm a monster or something?" he asked with a wet face, his eyes red and puffy.
"I really thought you were gonna make a comment on my fairytale references" I said to crack a joke to lighten the mood a little.
"D-does this mean you're not mad at me?" he asked quietly and a bit hopefull.
"Y-you aren't c-concerned about t-the fact I've k-killed before?"
"Oh, no, I'm totally freaked out" I stated.
"I think I'm to much in shock to realise it right now but I can never look at you the same way again"
He just stared at me with deep sad eyes, trying to stay sane with his new gained information.
"I get it if you wanna break up with me..." he whispered and pulled away from me crawling out of bed.
"I get it if you never wanna see me again or if you think I'm just some outcast... But I trust you with my biggest secret, even if it makes you hate me"
He stood up and bit his lip.
"I don't ever want to lose you Nathan, but I will respect the choice you make, even if it breaks me... S-so I'm just gonna wash my face so Angela doesn't get suspicious"
He left the room and I sighed. What the hell Nathan?! You really know how to pick the fucked up ones don't you?! He's the freaking son of a big ass criminal and he's a murderer! A MURDERER! He has killed before... I still can't believe it... With those same hands he touches me, he took the life of his brother... With those soft hands that just fit perfectly around my ass he has killed at least a dozen people... And those beautiful dark eyes that seem to stare through your soul have seen more death than a person should bare. He's been through so much... He's done so many awful things to survive, to get away from his past... But he just followed his fathers footsteps. The killing, the running... I just couldn't comprehend this at the moment... I heard the water running in the background, reminding me he was still here. My boyfriend was a freaking murderer! How was I supposed to stay calm?! Did his mother know about that? Well, obviously not about Jackson but probably about the others, right? She must know. And his dad? Or, you know, the man he called his father nowadays. Did he know? He was involved in the attack in which Jack died but it could be he never knew what really happend. Because if I knew, I wouldn't just start hitting and kicking on him like he was a fragile little boy. I got up and opened my laptop. Such a massive shooting needs to be reported right? There has to be some kind of article about this. And sure enough, there was. But an altered version... It said two gangs got in a fight and citizens were involved and killed as well. Citizens... Plural. So Jackson wasn't the only victim...
"It's the cover up version" Jace said as he walked back inside, seeing the article open on my screen. Before I could ask how he answered my question.
"We bribed the cops"
"W-what?"
"Yeah, you should know how corrupt the system is" he shrugged.
"I mean, I wouldn't feel safe if I knew what was going on in that department. Well, if I was a regular person, I guess"
I just stared at the screen and sighed.
"So you still have the money?"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"The money your real father made with his business" I stated.
"You still have it"
He looked down and bit his lip.
"Partly"
He looked back up with guilt in his eyes and a sad smile.
"You wanna know how much is on my account, right?"
I was actually rather curious at that. He spoke of a fortune but what was he talking about? He pushed my chair aside a bit, shoving me away from the desk as he started typing on my pc.
"Before you look, I know that economic people know the value of money like no one else so please just stay calm okay? It are just zero's on a screen, they're not gonna kill you"
"If I'm not scared of you than why should I be surprised by your bankaccount?" I asked.
"Are you really not scared?" he asked.
"Of me, I mean"
"I know you wouldn't hurt me and you swore to always protect me so I think I'm still safe, right?" I said and rolled to my desk, taking the laptop.
"And there isn't any amount of money that can change my mind about tha-JEZUS CHRIST!"
I stared at the screen and back at Jason.
"HOLY SHIT! Jason, this is your bankaccount?! It's longer than a phone number!"
"Sssh!" he hissed and covered my mouth.
"Just zero's on a screen, understand?"
I nodded and he let my mouth go.
"Say it with me, just zero's on a screen"
"A lot of zero's on a screen" I stated and still gasped at the number.
"And other numbers... You're a freaking miljonair..."
"It's actually-"
"I know how much it is!" I stated and he smirked.
"Just making sure"

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