On His Demand {manxman}

OHD: Chapter Eighteen

Dr. Jose Luca Grazi

"Jose..." I could hear Nicca trying to make sense of my actions as I recounted to him what had happened between Kaiden and I. "Don't you think that maybe," He pinched his fingers together. "Just maybe you were overreacting?" I looked at him like he just told me that he set my car on fire. Me, overreact? Not a chance in hell. "No, as a matter of fact, I do not." I folded my arms and pouted. "You know I don't like being lied to or feeling like someone's keeping something from me." That's exactly what he did. "I don't give a shit if it will hurt my feelings. I want to know the truth when I can."

And maybe I was wrong for comparing Kaiden to Zy. Kaiden did everything else right. He didn't cheat on me and he didn't even break my heart.

He just destroyed the trust.

"But do you really feel like you can get over him?" Nicca asked. "I don't know what Mikhail told you, but you left in a bad mood. I'm not saying you should have gone about it in a different way, but you should have approached the situation calmly." He stated and I looked at him, wondering if he had a twin I didn't know about. "You sound awfully smart there, mate." I rolled my eyes and thought about his question. "There was no way that I could have done that calmly. Every time that I think of him, that bloody wanker, I think of how much I have been through because of him. I think of the times that I have been threatened and attacked because of things he neglected to tell me." I sighed, shaking my head.

"And about getting over him, who knows at this point?" I shrugged, thinking that the time away from him had done me some good. It had been three weeks since I last walked out on him and I hadn't seen him since. I wouldn't lie and say that I didn't miss him because I really did. I missed how we used to be. I missed the beginning of the relationship. I missed everything before he admitted to me about his true heritage. I was okay with it until he kept stuff that was crucial to my very being.

I didn't like being lied to or feeling like I was in the dark majority of the time.

"I can't say I know how you feel because I don't," Nicca murmured as he ran a hand through my hair. "But all I can say is that Kaiden is not Zy. They are two different people. They have done different things to you and you can't go and compare that. Zy cheated on you and he also lied to you. Kaiden kept things from you, though it was very stupid of him, he did it in your best interest. He might have thought that knowing less is better and you can't blame him." Nicca sighed and I grumbled. "But if I told him from the very start that if he wants my trust, he has to earn it. He did until he didn't." I sighed, my heart dampening.

I really didn't know what to do. I was very conflicted.

"I understand, Jose," No, this motherfucker really did not understand. "I don't know why you reacted the way that you did, I mean, what Mikhail told you had to be really deep and hurtful because if it wasn't, you might have just given up at the moment that you shouldn't have. You spent most of your time being fixated on what Zy did to you and how much it brought you, that you can't even look the simple mistake that this boy made." Now, I just wanted Nicca to shut his damn cakehole. He was hitting too deep at my flaws and it made me feel raw and open. 

It made want to run and hide and question the fact that no one was asking me how I felt. No one seemed to understand that I had severe trust issues and it was hard for me to trust ANYONE. Why didn't anyone see that as a problem? Why did no one realize that I was trying to avoid being hurt?

"Ya know, fight for him once, shithead." Nicca mushed me on the head. "Then maybe he can heal your heart and ease your fears. You'll never know unless you try." I shrugged, knowing that I had no idea of what I was going to do. It had been three weeks and with no contact from Kaiden. Part of his belongings had been cleared from my house and his scent was slowly started to leave what used to be his side of the bed. I was slowly starting to move on, but then Nicca just had to bring him up, bloody fucking idiot. "You know, I would say forget about it. He's too young for you and he has his own problems to deal with," Nicca snorted and I thought that he was starting to agree with me and my point of view. "But I am your best friend and I have seen the look of pure and utter happiness, the brightest smile on your face and the way that you talked about him. I want to see that again. He's not Zy, you have to understand that, fuckface." I grunted in mere annoyance, thinking that I needed to talk to someone who would more than likely be on my side.