Golden (Book 1 of the Golden Series)

Because I care about you guys...

Hello, my lovelies,

I know you're probably annoyed because you thought this was a chapter and I promise that the next one is coming soon, there are just some things I need to talk to you guys about.

This book is a huge part of my life and I am astounded and amazed at the response it is getting and how many people it is reaching, I could not be more proud and grateful for all you guys do for me and how much you push me to write.

This is why I want to take this time to talk to you guys about some really important stuff, especially as the book continues and delves into some deeper issues in the storyline.

When I wrote the original version of this book five years ago I was young and I thought that the only harm people could do to you was physical, I also thought that love was this brilliant thing that made life easy and made you happy. Since I've grown up and started to experience the world around me, I've learnt that this is the biggest illusion I ever had.

Over the past couple of years, I have faced heartbreak and disappointment, I've dealt with high school crushes (that because of wattpad I expected to go swimmingly. lol.), fights with friends and the reality of being a grown up.

But there is one thing I have experienced in that last year that I want to share with you guys because it is something I wish someone had said to me.

Until September 2017, at the age of 19, I had never had a long-term proper boyfriend. I had slept with people, and I had dated, I'd even had a boyfriend for a month but it was quickly over. I'd been lied to, screwed over and treated like shit. I had faced heartbreak after heartbreak and my self-confidence became so low that I hated myself.

That was until September 2017 when I met my now ex-boyfriend.

At the time I was in a very weak place, and when he made it clear he was interested in me I threw myself headfirst into the relationship and completely became absorbed by it. Now, especially after reading romance books and fantasising over jealous and overprotective males who just wanted me, I was so besotted with this boy that I completely lost sight of what was going on and how badly I was being treated.

I'm not saying that he was never nice, he could be the most romantic and sweetest guy ever. But that was not all the time.

In the first month of us dating, I have never been happier and I could not fault our relationship. However, after we became 'official' things changed.

It started off being that he would look over my shoulder while I was on my phone, or wouldn't let me go out drinking unless he was also out and then it turned into me not being able to have guy friends or not being allowed to stay at my own flat because he wanted me at his.

We began to fight all the time but he would always make up for it with romantic dates or gestures like buying me flowers or setting up his flat with fairy lights and romantic music for me coming over. And because I was in such a bad place with myself and I was so in love with him, I forgave him every single time. Not only for the horrible things he would say to me, but the way he would treat me too.

He would call me horrible things like a slut or a whore, he would manipulate me into deciding not to go out because he didn't want me to, he would make me feel guilty for spending time with my friends without him.

His favourite phrase was 'we might as well just be friends' if I said no to having sex with him.

He would tell me to leave and say we were done and when I would attempt to leave his flat he would lock me in and tell me that I wasn't going anywhere, he would refuse to let me go. Now if I wrote all this in a book and made it seem romantic then you guys would be commenting how hot or sexy it made him be, he was so 'dominant'. But I have to tell you that nothing about this was hot. I was constantly walking on eggshells around him, I would never feel like I could truly be myself because he made me ashamed of my past and who I was, and eventually, I became a total shell.