Monster in My Bed

Chapter Thirty-Two | Drive Safe

"I like you in a way that I've never liked anyone else. Matteo, I think that I--," I took a deep breath. My tongue was so dry in mouth that it felt like I was sucking on sandpaper. "I--," I knew how I was feeling. I just needed to spit it out. "I can't do this," I concluded, turning away from my reflection in the mirror.

This week has been a nonstop struggle of attempting to be honest about how I feel with Matteo. Unfortunately, it was not as easy as the internet lead me to believe. I was trying tip #6 from Cosmopolitan by trying to rehearse in the mirror what I wanted to tell Matteo, but it was a big, fat failure just like the last five tips. I tried writing it out, dropping hints, and even told him to drive safe. It didn't make much sense since he wasn't driving anywhere. He was mid-bite of a sandwich in the kitchen, actually, but the article I skimmed over told me that it would work.

Cosmopolitan has really let me down this past week.

"Maybe I should try to recite poetry to him, again." I muttered to myself thinking about how terribly it went the first time. Apparently, O'Captain, My Captain by Walt Whitman is not a good poem to use when you're trying to profess your feelings for someone.

"Kai?" I jumped and turned around to see Matteo in the doorway of the bathroom.

"Christ, Matteo. You scared me," I snapped, bringing my hand up to my chest. I could feel my heart beating wildly against the palm of my hand.

"Were you saying something?" He asked in confusion, completely ignoring my snappy comment. My heart rate managed to accelerate even more than I'd imagined possible.

"No!" I shouted way too quickly which seemed to confuse my poor mate even more than he already had been. "I mean, yea. Kind of. Not to you, though, so get out." For some reason, that sounded like it was going to be nicer than just hollering "no!" in his face. With confusion plastered across his face, he slowly turned around and walked out of the bathroom. I let out a heavy sigh and grabbed the sides of the sink, allowing my head to hang down lazily. "Nope, nope," I muttered to myself as I shook my head. I'm not sure what part of what just happened I was trying to forget, but it wasn't working. I would have probably thrown up right then and there if Matteo heard me talking about him so lovey dovey to myself in the mirror. Maybe that's what I was trying to do, convince myself not to vomit.

I raised my head up to look at myself. I winced when I noticed just how flushed my cheeks were and rapidly smacked them a few times to try to make myself look like I wasn't on the verge of dying. My annoying, middle-school girl emotions were starting to get on my nerves. I'd never dealt with these types of embarrassing emotions before. Grumbling to myself about how I was acting stupid, I left the bathroom. Upon entering our bedroom, I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed Matteo hadn't actually left. He was seated quietly on our bed with his eyes watching my every move. It was almost as if he thought that I was going to disappear the moment he looked away.

"I told you to get out," I deadpanned, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I did," he countered. I pursed my lips as I thought about what he was saying.

"I meant our entire living space, not just the bathroom, jackass," I muttered, walking toward him. He stood up from the bed and simultaneously shot me a lopsided smile. I took the opening of his arms as an invitation for a hug, so I gladly took it. Obviously, I was going to take any chance that I could to feel up on my hunk of a man. I thought that we were just going to share a short hug like most other times that Matteo decides to feel affectionate, but instead his hands placed themselves firmly on my waist and his body began swaying back and forth. "What are you doing?" I chuckled as my body swayed in the same rhythm as his.