GETAWAY CAR

48. Stay This Little

October 21st 2017

Taylor's POV

"Hey, little guy. Mommy's right here and momma will be here very very soon, just hold on a little longer." I stroke my sons hand as he lies in the incubator. He's so small and fragile, it breaks my heart seeing him like this. I haven't been able to take my eyes off of him since we got here. Doctors have been in and out and I've lost count of the number of tests they've done. I'm terrified for him, I don't think I could handle losing him; he's a part of me and he always will be, and when I found him in his bassinet it felt like a part of me died in that moment.

"Are you okay?" I look up from my baby boy to the only other mom in the room. We're the only ones in here. "Yea, I'm just waiting for my partner to get here." I sigh and wipe my eyes, the tears haven't stopped since I found him. "The first night is hard, but it'll get better." She gives me a soft smile and I nod, "how long have you been in here?" She sighs and looks down at the baby in front of her, "nearly a month." I shake my head as I look back at Theo. "I'm sorry." I give her a warm smile and she nods.

I look up as the door opens and sigh a breath of relief as Karlie walks into the room. "Hi baby." I rush into Karlie's arms as she drops the bag she was carrying. I let go of all the tears I'd been trying to hold back and she soothes me as I bury my face in her shoulder. "It's okay, I'm right here." She rubs my back as she whispers gently in my ear. "He stopped breathing, Kar." I breathe the words and she coos, "I know, baby. I know." I let go and take her hand as I sit back down beside Theo. "Have they said anything?" She reaches out to hold his little hand and I shake my head, "they're still running tests. They don't know why it happened or what affect this had on him." She squeezes my hand three times and I look over, tears in my eyes and rest my head on her shoulder, "I love you too."

•••
Karlie's POV

"Are you hungry, Tay?" I stroke her arm gently as she sits in my lap. She's holding Theo's hand, almost drifting off to sleep since it's nearly 3am. "When was the last time you ate?" I look at her with worried eyes, already knowing she didn't eat dinner. "I'm not hungry." She mumbles as she nuzzles her face into my shoulder. "I know you're not but you need to eat something. You're no use to Theo if you're not eating, remember what happened last time." She sighs as she opens her eyes and looks up to me, "I don't wanna leave him." I kiss her forehead and give her a soft smile, "I can sit with him for a while, the cafeteria is closed but there are vending machines down the hall. It's only a couple of minutes." The woman next to us is smiling gently as she looks over. When the doctor came in for rounds we learned that her baby girl, Ruby, was born premature and got sick when she was two months old, they've been here nearly four weeks already.

"Are you sure?" Taylor asks and she nods, getting up and walking over. "Ruby's fast asleep. Go and take a minute, take a breather and eat something, I know how overwhelming this can be. If a doctor comes by, I'll make them wait for you to get back. Don't worry." She smiles and I look down at Taylor who nods, "thank you. I really appreciate this." She gets off of me and helps me up. "We won't be long." I squeeze Taylor's hand and the woman nods as she sits by the incubator.

I wrap my arm around her waist and hold her close to me as we walk through the corridors. "I'm sorry I wasn't here." I sigh and she looks up to me, "it's not your fault, you didn't know this was going to happen." She rests her head on my shoulder and I press a kiss to her forehead.

I grab us both a cup of coffee and Taylor finds something she can eat in the vending machine, "the girls are with Kimby and my mom said she'd go over in the morning." Taylor grabs my hand, taking a sip of her coffee at the same time. "I called Kimby when I landed, both girls were asleep. She brought the rocker from the kitchen into her room so that Tilly could sleep in there." She nods, staring down at her coffee. We make the short walk back to the PICU and when we get inside, Arizona is standing by the incubator with a shorter brunette doctor that I don't recognise.