Growing Up (A Joey Gracceffa Fanfic) *Jawyer

Chapter 22: Okay to Cry

Joey's POV

"If you shake me any harder I might just forget my name S-Sawyer" I joked. Sawyer held me tightly. "I thought you've forgotten me" Sawyer said. "I wouldn't that easily" I replied.

"I just blanked out under all the pressure" I continued.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"I'm sorry too" Sawyer said. "I shouldn't have snapped like that on you"

I looked out and saw the YouTubers quietly sitting down. I wasn't bothered by it though. I knew they wouldn't judge because all of us have gone through rough situation before. That's what I liked about VidCon. When I was with YouTubers, I was in a safe comfort zone.

Once he was comfortable again, Sawyer let go of me and I sat down next to Zoe.

"You alright there chum?" she asked.

I shook my head and told her. She understood though. Zoe suffered from social anxiety. Alfie was her rock, and like her, Sawyer was my rock.

We were both lucky to have someone who was always there for us.

"Remember Joey, Sawyer may be your rock but if a rock keeps on getting hit it will begin to crack. It's important that you do your part as well" Zoey said.

I knew what she meant. I have already put Sawyer through hell. Sawyer always asked me how I was doing. Never have I checked up on him and ask him if he was fine.

Sawyer left to go get a drink from the vending machine and I followed him. "Is everything okay?" Sawyer asked. "Stop" I muttered. "Did I do something" Sawyer said concerned. "You're making me look bad" I joked.

I reached for Sawyer arms and cupped it carefully. "How are you holding up?" I finally asked. "What do you mean?" Sawyer responded.

"I mean, how are you? You don't always have to be strong. It's okay to need support for a change. It's okay to cry for once" I told Sawyer.

"I'm not a cold-blooded monster Joey. I cry. I have feeling. And those feeling are for you" Sawyer answered.

"Then why haven't you cried then? What's stopping you?" I added.

"Fear" Sawyer muttered.

"Fear? Fear of what? Fear of losing me? I'm not going anywhere Sawyer. This is why I didn't want to tell you about my sickness.

I knew you'd beat yourself up over it. You don't have to always be there to pick me up when I fall down every time. I need to learn how to pick up my own pieces.

I need to...I need to do my part as well" I confided to Sawyer.

"That's why I'm here. A good boyfriend helps you at your worsts. Right now you are at your worst I want to help you through this difficult time that you are going through.

And when I go through something just as difficult, I know you'll be there to pick up the pieces. Why am I here, if it's not to support you?" Sawyer reasoned.

"You're here because I love you. I love you Sawyer Hartman. You don't forget that because I know that I never will. Everything that we have gone through won't be for nothing. I promise you that" I said.

Sawyer rested his head on my shoulder and whimpered.

"Thanks, I needed that Joey" he said in a raspy voice. I could feel his tears socking my shirt. I could tell I lifted an anvil off his shoulder.

Sometimes everyone just needs to cry no matter how strong they might be.