I don't belong to you

Chapter 9

Spencer's POV

We had been a couple dates since our first one. Each one I fall more and more in love with him. My day's were consumed with me either thinking about him or being with him. I couldn't get enough of him. It was still strange when I thought of Adam... I still loved him too. And there would always be a part of me that will.

"Hey you," I said setting the flowers down at Adam's grave. "I really miss you."

I was sure he already knew the whole story with Toby. I wonder what he thought when he was looking down on me? Was he angry? No. Probably not. That wasn't who he was. "I wanted to thank you. You saved me after my accident. I don't think I would have been able to get through it without you. And I also want to thank you for... Bringing me to Toby. In some way I feel like it was you that brought me to him."

I stood up, "I love you Adam. And I miss you everyday." I placed one hand on his grave stone before heading back to my car. I wanted to go see Toby, but I wanted to surprise him.

When I pulled into his driveway I saw his car so I knew he was home. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer.

He opened the door. "Spencer?" He smiled. "What are you doing here?" His face changed.

"I wanted to surprise you," I smiled before taking a step towards him and kissing him.

"Well I'm glad," he looked behind him. He was acting really strange.

"Did I come at a bad time?" My smile faded.

"Umm..." he looked side to side. "Kind of."

"Oh I'm sorry," I took a step back. "I'll... come back another time."

I could tell he felt bad, "Well... I don't want you to go. It's just..."

"What?" Why was he acting so weird? Did our last date not go as well as I thought? Was someone inside? Was there another woman in his life? "Toby..." I tried again.

"I've got things to do," he scratched the back of his head. "I can't do anything right now."

"Ok," I gave him a weird look.

"Daddy!" I heard a voice from inside. "Where are you?" I heard it get closer.

Toby looked back, then back at me. He gulped and his face looked... terrified.

I could see her now. She looked up at Toby. She tugged on his pants. He picked her up, and then she looked at me... Her brown long curls cascaded down her back. Her big brown eyes mirrored mine. We both just stared at each other with the same confused looks on our face.

She looked at Toby, "Is that...?"

Toby nodded his head at her.

She looked back at me, "mom?"

Mom? What? How did she even know I existed? I've never even met her before. What the hell is this? It's like one secret after another. Why did he keep this from me. I finally opened my mouth to say something, "I need a minute," I backed away and practically ran.

I crumbled to the ground in his front yard and sobbed. I felt a mix of shock, sadness and happiness. I was obviously shocked to find out I had a daughter who was about 4 or 5. Second... I was sad because I missed out on so much of her life. And if only someone would have told me, I could've been there for her. And there was a part of me that was happy. She was my daughter for crying out loud. No matter how screwed up the situation was... Seeing your daughter for the first time, it's like... This incredibly, overwhelming feeling of love flows through you.