I don't belong to you

Chapter 12

Spencer's POV

Again... Another week I was waiting to see him. I loved getting my one on one time with Hayden, but those two days I spent alone always seemed to last the longest. Hearing his voice on the phone was beyond torture. "Only 17 more hours. 17 more hours and I'll get to hold you," he sighed into the phone.

"I feel like two days isn't enough," I complained. "I see you for two days and then I wait for five."

"I know, and I'm sorry," he apologized. "It'll change someday."

"When?" I challenged.

He laughed into the phone, "Someday," he repeated.

"I'm getting sick of hearing that," I rolled my eyes.

He sighed into the phone. "I can't give you an exact date."

"I don't understand. Can you not trust me?" I rolled onto my side.

"I trust you, I do..." he stumbled with his words.

"No you don't," I stopped him. "I'm going to bed, goodnight." I clicked the phone and tossed it on my nightstand. I didn't want to already start fighting but I felt like he couldn't trust me with his heart and Hayden's. I heard my phone buzz. I knew he was trying to call me back. I turned off my phone, and turned away from my nightstand.

Toby's POV

I felt incredibly guilty about last night. I don't want her to feel like I don't trust her. I left her a ton of voicemails and texts apologizing, but she still hasn't replied. It's possible she hasn't even turned her phone back on. I even sent flowers to her work, hoping she would still come over. I heard a knock at my front door. I quickly walked to the front door with a smile on my face. I was slightly shocked to see that it wasn't Spencer. I didn't get much company at my house. "Amber?" I greeted her in confusion.

"Hi Toby," she smiled. "I haven't heard from you in a while, I just thought I would come see how you were doing."

"Oh," I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"Are you going to invite me in... or?" She laughed at me.

"Yeah," I moved out of the way. "Come in."

She walked in and made herself comfortable on the couch. "So what have you been up to?"

"Not much," I shrugged. "You?"

"Same," she patted the seat next to her. "Sit. I want to talk to you."

I sat down, "What are you doing here?"

"You don't want me here?" She suddenly looked uncomfortable.

I felt rude. "No, that's not what I meant. I just... wasn't expecting to see you."

"I missed you," she smiled. "You haven't called me back. Which is unusual considering..."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I've had a lot going on."

"It looks like it," she smiled at me.

I looked at her confused.

"You... look different." She gently touched my knee. "You look alive. That look in your eyes... I've never seen that before."

"What do you mean?" I shifted uncomfortable.

"I can't explain it," she brushed my hair to the side. "I always thought you were looking for something when we..." she didn't finish. "Now you look like you've found it."

I didn't know how to politely get her to leave. "I'm actually expecting someone."

"I know you are Toby," she leaned in closer. Before I could process what she was doing, her lips touched mine. Her hands grabbed my face pulling me in as her lips roamed mine. I was used to this. I was used to her, she was the only woman I slept with after Spencer that didn't ask questions. She just let me get lost for a moment and she didn't try to figure me out. That's why I used her a lot. I know that's horrible, but I didn't know what else to do. I made her believe I cared about her, when I didn't.