see me ; jjk

30: i love you

30: i love you
YERI

"No," I shake my head, "that isn't gonna solve this." I look straight ahead of me, not daring to look at him. I could hear my heart start to crack into pieces, still pounding in my chest.
Shot thru the heart.
I wanted to tell him that everything is going to be okay, that we will be together forever. That nothing will get into our way.
But that wasn't the case to our love story. This was no Cinderella story.

"You got to be fucking with me!" Jungkook yells. I don't like when he yells at me, not after the fight we had weeks before. I continue to look straight, tears already forming my eyes. I don't want to cry in front of him, I needed to stay strong and show him I am sure with my decision.

"What do you want me to say Jungkook?! That everything is going to be okay?" I yell back, putting my face in heads. This is becoming to much. My anxiety was getting worse in each second I sat here.

"You're not even trying!" He gets up from beside me and walks across the room, away from me.

"AGH! Not trying?! You're shitting me! I'm trying to fix this, so that we don't get hurt!"

"Pssh," I can tell he is rolling his eyes. "Trying to fix this? You're just breaking us."

Woah.

What the actual fuck is happening. Why are we fighting? Why does he always have to yell.
He isn't putting any effort in trying to fix this, his solution is to start yelling until he gets his way.

And what feels like the first time, I can see that he isn't perfect.

"Well, Jeon Jungkook," I get up from my spot and look him in the eye. "You're a fucking baby who needs to grow up. The sooner you realize you can't always get what you want, the better," I run my hands through my hair out of face. He's about to yell again but before he can, I walk to the door and open it.

"I bet you don't even love me! That's why you're doing this!" He sounds hurt and I ca tell in the way he said it that he believes his words.

I pause for a second.
What a stupid boy.
Stupid, fucking boy.

How can he say that? Believe it?
Not love him?
How can someone be so blind.
Every moment I've spent with him was filled with happiness and love.

How can he not see how hard this is for me. How much a fucking love him.
I am able to do this because I love him.

I run downstairs and a couple seconds later I hear a loud bang from his bedroom door. Noises from his room start to get louder as he starts to wreck it, random objects hitting the walls.

I don't know where to go. Jungkook drove me here and I'm not in a good condition to walk back home.

And I left all my shit upstairs.

I walk to the kitchen and fall on the floor. The tears are not coming, streaming down my face.
I love you Jeon Jungkook.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you so much, I want to see you grow and achieve your dreams. I want you to become the best person you can.

Can't you see that all I want for you?

My head starts pounding from crying so I try to stop. But I can't. The tears just keep coming.