(Loki x reader) The Evil One

18: Pyromaniac

For my lovelys IWantCerealPlease and Jeffisloved123

"Darling, it's an inanimate object, you can't just shout at it and expect it to comply to your every command!" Loki said from the bathroom doorway, where he stood, frowning and biting his thumbnail.

And shirtless, but that's not important. Is it?

I sat on my bed wearing that shirt, waiting to see if he noticed that small detail.

I turned to give him a wild look. "Wanna bet?!"

He squinted his eyes at me. "Not really, no," he muttered as I turned back to the TV.

I continued yelling obscenities and threats at it. Loki meandered in slowly behind me, keeping a weary eye on the remote in my hand.

"Don't swear at it, that's rude," Loki said as he cautiously approached.

I sighed. "It's not going to kill it." 

I turned back to the TV, still threatening it.

"I'll light you on fire and use you to explode (your ex's name)'s house!" I shouted.

"Perhaps she's a pyromaniac," Loki muttered to himself as he sat on the edge of my bed.

I turned to once again give him that wild look. "Loki. Don't make up words."

His look of deep concern for my mental health now changed to one of shock at my mental health. "I didn't make it up kitten! It's a real word that probably describes your-"

I chucked the remote at the tv, breaking the screen.

"-Condition," Loki finished, calmly waving his hand and fixing the TV screen. "And let's not use it to explode your ex's house."

"How'd you know he was my ex?" I cried.

Loki inclined his head at me. He read my mind.

I stared at the TV, panting. "Can you..make it play what I want?"

Loki shrugged. "Perhaps."

It was my turn to squint my eyes at him. "And you didn't share this earlier...why?"

Loki bit down on his nail and eyed me. "You never asked."

I now wished I'd chucked the remote at him. "You're a dummy."

I slumped and pouted.

However, his spine straightened. His eyes grew dark, and he flattened both palms on the bedspread, looking into my eyes.

I gulped. I needed to learn to 'not call him names' or one day I might lose a limb, life, or virginity for it.

"What did you call me?" Loki hissed slowly.

I looked at the TV, "Nothing, your majesty."

"Oh no, you keep calling me things," Loki said, tilting his head.

I raised my eyebrows. "Terms of endearment, m'love."

"That is not what you called me."

I nodded slowly, avoiding looking at him.

"So..tell me one more time, and perhaps I'll spare your life..what did you call me?"

My eyes widened. "Err.....maybe I called you a dummy? I didn't mean it!" I squealed the last part cause he practically started stalking me. "Loki?" I asked, as he lifted both legs up onto the bed, crawling closer to me.

He was also grinning evilly.

"Loki, listen, if you-Jesus! Heel! Uh...sit?" I cried out as he got so close I had to lay on my back as he propped himself up over me.

Loki froze. "I'm a dog?!"

I burst out laughing. "I-I wanted you to-to stop-I found a way!"

He looked livid, climbing off me and sitting on the edge of the bed. "You're so very strange."

I nodded, crawling toward him now very slowly. "I know."

He was sitting up tall, looking down at me. "What am I going to do with you?"

I pinched my mouth together as I rolled onto my back, staring up at him. "Feed me, love me, never leave me," I said, smiling now.

He crossed his eyes a little, still looking mad. "I was thinking of many other things, but that, was not one of them."

I pretended to be offended. "You're not going to feed me?!"

He face-palmed. Because even the God of Mischief thinks that was stupid. "Of course I am, m'love, but you must stop taunting me! If you call me stuff like that you know what I'm going to do, so quit doing it and proceeding to try to avoid the outcome," Loki said, leaning closer.

I took a few seconds to process what the hell that even meant. In the end, I came to the conclusion that he wanted me to stop teasing him. Was I going to? Yeah. No. "Loki?"

He rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Make the TV do what I want it to. Then I'll kiss you."

He shrugged and the TV turned on, playing my show.

I sat bolt upright. "Oh yippee!" Then I took him by surprise as I turned around and lunged up to his level, kissing him hard.

He seemed to like that.