Irrelevant. [Random]

Maybe this Place is the Same... and We're Just Changing

I'm aware I am taking a risk posting this here, but this needs to be said. And honestly, a lot of people need to hear it. So wipe your eyes, open your mind, and stop being easily offended for once in your life. Here we go.

Over the years, I've realized that people are mean. They are cold and selfish, and only do what they can to further themselves in life- even if that means knocking someone else down a peg. I've been a victim of manipulation, bullying, mind games, and I've been blamed for numerous things that are not my fault. All of these things brought the person pleasure and entertainment. Of course, it also gained them attention from their other friends, because they have people loyal to them until the end. They are biased and I understand that. Who wouldn't want to believe their close friend, after all?

When I was around 12, I entered a toxic friendship. The friend made me hate myself and question everything I did. She manipulated me and twisted my mind into only thinking about what was good for her, not me. She ended up breaking off the friendship bc I stood up for myself, and then I was left alone wondering once again what I could have done wrong. Why would someone rather leave you than stick around and work out the problem?

Fast forward a few years, and I'm still struggling to gain my self-confidence back. She ruined me and made me afraid to become close with anyone else. By this time, I watched my sister become friends with a pair of girls. They were sweet at first, but they slowly started to mess with my sister and break her down. It was like a team effort- even if one of the girls knew that the other had done something wrong, they didn't care. Their loyalty to each other meant more than treating a newcomer with respect. They would have died for each other in an instant, even if the other one deserved to be locked up for their crimes. Sound relevant to something in your life?

I began to enter friendships less frequently, but just as passionately at before. That's the thing- no matter how much you tear me apart, I will never lose my passion for making people happy. Pause: that's an important message for everyone. No matter who hurts you, breaks your heart, defies you, or stabs you in the back, do not let them get what they want. They want to watch you struggle and trip. They want to witness you break into a hundred pieces. Don't do it. Get back up, dust yourself off, and try again. You are a good person; do not let someone else's actions stop you from continuing to be a good person.

Furthermore, the heartbreak has not stopped. I've had friendship after friendship fall apart because I realized that it was no longer healthy for me. The hard truth is that even if it started out great, people WILL take you for granted. They will expect you to handle anything they do and always be there for just them. They will load you up with all their problems and expect you to carry it all, while they ignore the issues and complain about their life. Constantly. I've been through this over and over again. I think that I've found someone that won't take me for granted, and then they do. But they're human and it's to be expected. We do not know what we had until it is gone.

But I've never had anyone come running back for me.

Why? Because I was right to stand up for myself. As I've grown up, I've learned lesson after lesson that I deserve to be treated better. God did not put me here to suffer in unhealthy relationships. He wants me to flourish, and in order to do that I must put myself in situations that will teach me new things and help me grow.

People get afraid of you when you realize your worth. When they've trained you to be their dog, and you finally realize that you don't deserve that treatment, they run away. They panic. They can't handle the idea of your independence. They want you to be theirs and only theirs. No other friends, no one else getting your attention. Just them, 24/7. So when you discover that there is more to life than just being around one person, they are gone faster than you can blink an eye.