Chapter one

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My Boyfriend's Brother

I giggled as Matt started to kiss down slowly to my neck. "Matt come on your mom can get here any second , i don't need her thinking I'm some type a whore " i said to him but he kept on.

"Sky , stop being so worried" Matt said. But i was because i knew what he was trying to do.

OK , so this is how it went. Me and Matt has been together for 7 months and we love each-other. About one week ago Matt spoke to me and told me how our relationship should go to the next level. I was thinking ok sure why not , but then he brings up sex.

My face blanked out and i didn't know what to say.

That day i think i really had to thank my brother for calling me . And i told him we can talk about it some other time because i have to go and i sped walked out of his house.

Ever since , Matt's been trying to 'MAKE A MOVE' but im always quick to dodge. But i think he is starting to notice.

"Sky , why do you keep trying to avoid things" he said a little in frustration. I let out a sigh , but i didn't speak. I just kept looking at him , would he even understand that i don't feel ready to go to the next step like that with him.

He then took his hold off of me and looked at the ground and i felt empty.

I felt bad but i couldn't just do what he wanted, especially when i was feeling uncomfortable , i want it to be nice and special.

I want it to make me never want to change my decisions and i want to never regret it.

If i was to ever think back i would smile and thats what i want. After all this silence between us i slowly touch his shoulder and he looked into my eyes.

I spoke "Matt" but i just took my eyes away from his and i walked away and left.

I wasn't going home yet , i needed some air and some time to think. I stopped and stood in my spot.

But honestly what did i have to think about? It was just whether i do or don't want to have sex with him .

I love him but i cant go that far with him , i mean we made out but when i notice that things went far i would move away or make excuses that i would have to leave.

' Do you love him'

My mind asked me. Of course i do.

' Are you sure'

Shut up of course i do. I love him and he loves me.

But for some reason i just couldn't convince myself and i just didn't understand why.

What happen why am i feeling like this? Why am i questioning my love for him? Do i love him anymore? Did i ever love him?

My mind kept spinning and i started to feel dizzy and i felt weak.

Then everything became a dark place i couldn't see anything.

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