Mutual Love (Andrew Siwicki)

fourteen - meadow chats

I took his hand and led him outside.

"Where are we going?" He asked while laughing.

I turned to him and smile, "just somewhere quieter."

I went in my car as Andrew also slid in. We listened to a lot of old school Drake, fist bumping and head shaking the whole time.

I slowly started to turn into an abandoned park.

"Are you going to kill me here?" Andrew joked with a smile.

I winked, "if I do it here, no one will hear you scream."

We got out the car as I took his hand again and walked deeper into the park. We went to this huge meadow with the warm sunlight beaming down on it, almost like that one scene from Twilight. Only, Andrew didn't sparkle and I didn't fall in love with a vampire.

I let go of Andrew's hand and ran into the meadow, full sprint. I raised my hands in the air and laughed so loudly, knowing that no one for miles could hear me enjoy this.

"C'mon Andrew!" I yelled out to him as he just stood there and stared at me.

Andrew's POV

I watched her glow. I watched her run into the meadow like a free bird, spreading her wings and radiating only brightness.

From this moment, I properly fell in love with her.

I fell in love with how her, now, short hair  flowed down her head. I fell in love with the way she laughed as if no one was watching. I fell in love with how she looked at life so beautifully.

"C'mon Andrew!" She yelled out to me, turning towards me and motioned for me to come closer.

I walked the distance she ran as she deeply stared into my eyes when I came closer. I couldn't help myself. I crushed my lips onto hers, feeling her react quickly as she wrapped her arms around my neck, making my knees weak from her touch. I wrapped my arms around her waist, trying to pull her as close as humanly possible. I wanted to just kiss every inch of her body and tell her that I love her every single day.

But I can't.

I can't because I'm a wimp. I'm scared of rejection. I'm scared of being abandoned. I'm scared of her getting tired of me after awhile and moving on. It's happened to me before, and I never want it to happen again.

I released from the kiss and gently grazed my hand across her cheek. Her skin was silky smooth under my working hands. I felt her jaw tense up as I ran my other hand down to her lower back.

She released our hold and randomly laid on the grass.

"I'm tired," she quietly said as she closed her eyes and let the sunlight overcome her.

Natalia was like a little dog—constantly full of energy but then getting tired way too easily.

"I know," I quietly said back as I laid next to her.

"My name is Natalia Sapphire Rowen. I'm  21 years old born into a family of no siblings. I dropped out of college to pursue a shitty LA lifestyle," she started reciting with her eyes closed.

I turned to my side, propped on my elbows, "what're you saying this for?" I asked her, brushing some of her hair off her face.

She opened her dark brown eyes to stare at me, "I'm telling you more about myself, love."

I laid back down on the grass, "I'm Andrew Siwicki. I'm uh 25 years old, almost 30 wow," I started, getting sidetracked a bit.

"I think you're beautiful," she suddenly said, her eyes shifting to mine.

My breathing stopped.

"I think that you could walk the streets of LA and every girl you make eye contact with would instantly fall in love because you are just that beautiful. Sometimes, I'm glad that we kiss and cuddle because it means I have at least some chance with you," she whispered.

I sat back up as Natalia did too, "you hype me up way more than you should, Natalia," I said, running my hands through her hair as she fluttered her eyes shut.

"I'm don't. You're just really really handsome," she smiled.

"Natalia Rowen, you're beautiful. You're absolutely gorgeous. I'll stare at you when you're finishing up work and just think to myself, 'I get to kiss that girl. I get to hold hands with that girl.' And it makes me feel complete. You make me feel complete," I said to her.

I've never really had this talk with anybody before so it was different for me—I didn't really know what to say.

"What's your goal in life?" She asked me, staring at me with her doe eyes.

I looked at the ground as she took my hand and traced my veins.

"My goal in life is to help others. All my life I've ever really helped other people because I think that's what this world needs. After college, I became interns for multiple companies. Then I became a cameraman for Shane. The jobs I've had helped out people. And in the future, I want to build a house. I want to build my own home and start a family in a small town where I can help others to achieve something. That's my goal in life," I finished, confident with my answer.

She looked up at me and grazed her hand across my beard, something I loved when she did.

"You will achieve only greatness in life, Andrew Siwicki. I don't doubt that you'll get only happiness from here on out because you are truly doing the world a favor, and it will grant you back the gift of love," she whispered to me, smiling brightly.

"You always have the right words to say," I said to her, chuckling lightly.

"What can I say, I read astrology horoscopes!" She laughed.

I smiled at how she radiated warmth and love. Everything she said made me feel at like 2x better about myself.

"So why did you take me here?" I asked her as she turned away from me to look at the flowers.

"I don't know, really. I come here a lot to think when the city gets too big for a small girl like me. I love it here. I was hoping you would too," she expectantly looked up at me as she picked a flower and stuck it behind my ear, "there. Now you look pretty as a button!"

I laughed at how cute she was, "I love it here."

"I'm glad," she whispered.

We started talking more about our family lives and our high school stories. Talking to her made me feel complete, as if my heart wasn't missing multiple holes from past occurrences.

"If you could go to anywhere in the world, where would you go?" She randomly asked me.

I giggled, "Paris. I'd love to buy a croissant, sit outside a cafe, and pretend that I know what I'm doing. People in Paris always know what they're doing. I want to feel that energy someday," I replied back, running my hand across the spiky grass.

"I'd love to go to Italy. Crema, Italy. I'd want to sit outside on the bench and read a fashion magazine in my designer summer dress, not caring about the world and dancing in a field of lilies all the time," she said to me, but not really to me. Natalia dazed out when talking, probably going into another world in her mind and thinking of all the possibilities that she could achieve.

"I think I love you," I said to her.

But she didn't hear it. She was caught up in Italy while I was caught up in loving her. She was imagining magazines while I was imagining our future. She was thinking about dancing in lilies while I was thinking about getting down on one knee to wrap up our story.

She shook her head slightly and looked to me, "sorry did you say something? I must've gotten lost in my own little imaginations."

I smiled and shook my head, "nothing, love. Continue to dance in your lilies, I'll still be right here waiting for you."

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