𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚘𝚢 𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝙻𝚎𝚏𝚝 | ✔️

THE Party

"Another one! Another one!" Peer pressure; you can either rise above or fall victim to it. That is what my mom said. I always had a third option, one that seemed more fitting for me. You could be just be fooling people into thinking that they can easily control you. Being carefully self-destructive.

I was currently taking shots at the after party. We lost the game I think but they had already bought the booze. I never take more than 2 shots, but Ethan and damsel affected me more than I was willing to admit to myself. So I had decided to get shit faced. Whether these asshats I call 'friends' told me to take another shot or not I was going to take as many as it took to disconnect myself from my consciences.

All I know now is that I wasn't there yet. I downed my eighth shot of vodka and chased it with fruit punch. It is not as good as it sounds.

I eventually somehow tumbled into the dance room and some stupid pop song came on and man did I feel like dancing. I swayed my hip on someone and I didn't really care who. As long as it wasn't Ethan. Fuck

I saw a cup and drank from it. I tasted bourbon I think. God thinking has not gotten me anything so why even think.

No more thinking.

I eventually stumbled into some guy and decided he was going to be my mistake tonight. As I swayed and gridded on the guy behind me I soon realized he was not touching me like most guys would by now. I turned around to yell at the guy for not finding me attractive enough to touch me but it was just Jax. Why won't he touch me? I giggled. He is always touching me.

"Touch me I want to feel loved." He smiled and grabbed my hands And started swaying like an idiot in the 1950s.

"No, I want it dirty, like super dirty, like Loral and random dude dirty" I pointed to her while she was in the corner almost fucking a guy.

"No can do Freaky Girl, I'm a gentleman." I frowned, but still began to grinding on him anyways.

"If I -I was any other bitch you would touch me, I've seen you do that before." I admitted to him. I knew I was different but I wanted to be just like every other girl tonight. Not Kian anyone else but Kian.

"Good thing you are not just any other bitch." I hate him. As I looked at him it became more clear that he was sober. He was never sober. He was always shit faced within the first thirty minutes of these types of parties.

"No AA meeting for you?" I saw something flicker in his eyes, it was so brief I lost it.

"No, I saw a little birdie that needed help on the way there." I smiled, not even knowing how my brain was connecting the dots about what he meant. He wanted to make sure I was okay, that I was going to be alright.

"You are one of a few people that truly care about me and I appreciate that." I slurred out. The vodka is starting to hit.

I looked into his eyes and went to kiss him on the cheek for taking care of me, but he must have been confused as to why I was coming so close because he turned his face towards me. And our lips met.

Jax and I were so shocked that we just froze. Our lips still touching no one moved and our eyes were wide open. Neither of us pulling away though.

Fuck it.

No thinking right?

I began to move my lips and that was all he needed he grabbed my hips pinning me against the door frame we were close too, all while pushing his body on me making me feel all of him. I closed my eyes as he began to kiss me with the passion that I never experience before. I felt every fiber in my body move. It was electric as I kissed him harder. It was the kiss of a lifetime, it had just as much energy and depth as a star. God I'm still a nerd. I was trying to keep going and just breath through my nose but was slowly failing I opened my mouth so I could catch air but Jax saw that as an invention and trust me I welcomed it with open arms. I felt as though I was brought to heaven just by the simple taste of mint and Bud-Light on his tongue. Never knew that combination would be the one for me but it worked and I knew that he was going to ruin me right then and their.

The only thing that made me stop was the fact that I'm human and need to breathe. I pulled away and leaned into him with my head on his chest. catching my breath.

"I think you're cute Jax." I said randomly. He laughed with a lot of breath to it. I guess he had to catch himself to.

"I think you're cute, now Let's get out of here."

He drove me home while we listen to something on the radio. We pulled into my driveway. I tried to open the door by myself but struggled.

"Hold on birdie." He got out the car but I didn't listen to him and kept trying to open the door. But it swung open and I fell out and to the ground.

"Oh my fucking God, Kian!" I was so out of it I began to laugh. Not feeling the pain from the fall. I think that kiss made me more drunk than I already was.

He picked me up off the ground and he looked so concerned with me. "Oh babe you scraped your knee." He helped me walk to the door and told me to be quiet.

"I'm fine Jack hahaha I mean Jax." He shook his head, grabbing my keys and opened my door. My mom was sound asleep by now so I didn't need to explain to her anything but Jax did struggle getting me up the first few steps.

I just kept laughing. Eventually, Jack just picked me up bridal style haha I mean Jax.

"You must eat lots of veggies strong boy." I poked his muscles.

"You must not eat at all." He said smiling down at me. I played with his curls while we made it up to my room that was all the way at the end of the hall.

He laid me down on my bed and took off my shoes and helped me out of my skirt and threw me my shorts. I put them on, which was a battle but they got over my fat ass.

"Your not fat. You're perfect." Must have said that out loud.

"Thanks. Now come lay with me." I crawled into bed and took off my cheer top. Only left in sports bra.

He put up a finger telling me to wait and grabbed a pair of he champion shorts out if his foot ball bag and took off his shirt. Once he was done getting ready for our sleep over He laid on my bed and I rolled over to lay on his chest. He smelt good even after he just played a game. He began to rub my hair while we just lay there feeling the intense heat of his body and listen to his heartbeat that was a little fast.

"Tell me a secret Jax." I said randomly thinking back to when me and Jax used to play 20 question but with secrets. Jax shifted a little and put his arm around me.

"I Don't want to."

"Please." I begged knowing he would cave. It was silent for a minute I looked up at him and he seemed scared but that was okay. I just wanted something real. Or maybe just another lie I don't know. He eventually broke the silence.

"Fine but you can't tell anyone that I love you. It hurts loving you Kian. Knowing that you'll never feel the same way about me, hurts. I'm only saying this because I know you won't remember this tomorrow. You won't remember the kiss that made my heart stop and made me love you more than I already do Kian. If that's even possible? You are the only girl I want but sadly I can't have your heart, but you have mine." It took me a minute to realize I was crying from his words. God I love him. I love everything about him but sadly he's not Ethan.

"I will try to remember Jax."

"I think if you forget and reject me it would hurt a lot less than you remembering birdie." I closed my eyes because they were heavy just like his words on me. I couldn't resist sleep anymore. I let Jax rub my hair till I fell asleep only hoping that I remember every word and that kiss that made my heart stop to.