AMBER (discontinued)

[10 - Now]

A/N: please play the song above when it says Ren starts talking!

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Alyssa Laurent

It's gotten cold this past month. The sky is no longer blue, only gray. Where I saw the sun, there are clouds.
It constantly rained.

I had to meet everyone I apparently knew before again. When they'd talk to me, they'd always speak so slowly, and I can see sadness in their eyes.

I don't want anyone to pity me. If I really did get hit by a car because I was running away from someone, then it's my fault. Not the driver's.

Whenever I walk through the hallway at school, I can feel the other students' eyes like daggers in me. People think I'm unlucky. But I'm not. I'm fine with what happened. Besides, "the past is in the past".

I haven't been doing well at all. Nothing stops me from smoking. Every time I smoke, I can feel my lungs getting worse, but even that doesn't make me stop for a few days. My amnesia makes everything more painful.

-flashback-

"Argh!" I yelled while I slammed my fist into the wall. "They keep on asking me about what I remember, but I remember nothing! I can't f**king remember anything!!" I screamed. I fell to my knees.
"What's the point of living if I don't know anything here? Death doesn't seem bad." I said while laughing. I was going insane.

---

At school..

I opened my locker. I had to learn my combination to open it again, but I was able to memorize it. A note fell. I picked it up and read what it said.

~~~
Alyssa,
I'd like to speak with you. Meet me at Austenn park at 7.
- Ren
~~~

I was a bit startled by his note. Why would he even want to speak to me? Would this be about my amnesia? Regardless, I'd still have to meet him.

--7:00 PM--

Austenn Park
I could hear the leaves being crushed under my feet while I walked over to the tree where Ren was standing. He looked up to see me.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, no emotion showing at all.

"Why?" He asked.

"Why? You're asking me that while I have no idea what you're talking about!" I yelled.

"What's happening with you? You're blocking everyone out of your life! I can tell that there's something wrong! I've seen you smoke!" He stated. His eyes started to tear up.

"Why do you even care?! It doesn't matter! I don't even know you and here you are acting like you own-" He pulled me into a hug. Out of everything he could've done, like walked away since I was insane, or insult me.

"Stop doing this to yourself! You were born for a reason! Do you really believe your life is worthless? Do you? You have no idea how much we all care about you! You might not remember me, but I know and remember you! I won't lose another friend to smoking! I'll never let myself lose you!" He cried.

I pulled away.

"Well, sorry but it seems like you'll lose me." I said. I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm.

"Alyssa. Don't... Please."

I looked back. I didn't know him, or remember him, but a tear found it's way to my eye.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're one of the most important people I've ever known. Meeting you brought a light into my life. You helped me, and I need to help you. Your life is important. Just stay strong. I'm always here for you."

"It doesn't matter! Just let me do what I want! You expect me to believe you?! If I say I want to die it's because it's the right thing to to! The world is better off with out me!"

"I see your pain. I know what it feels like. I went through the same thing when my brother died, which was two months ago. Two months ago, you were there for me. If it weren't for you, I would've been exactly like you right now. I need you to be brave and to be strong. I don't know how many times I need to say this. You're life is important. You are a good person. You can snap out of this. We all need you. Think about how your mother would feel about this. You may not remember it, but you helped her when your father cheated. You helped her stay strong. She's staying strong for you. She'd be heartbroken if she knows about how you are now. I'll do everything I can until you're better." He stated.

I turned around and looked at him.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled.