Shadow [My Best Friend's Boyfriend] LRH

9 therapy sessions with Luke Hemmings

"Were you aware that taking glass bottles into the plane is illegal?" Kevin, a security guard asks me.
I am sitting in a chair in a really small office, where the security guards have taken me. The band and the crew are waiting outside, the only person who knows why I am taken here is Luke. The person who begged me to steal Roxy's vodka.
And why did I do it? Why didn't he do it himself?

Well. It's because I listen to everything he says. He would ask me to climb the Mount Everest or else a fight between him and Roxy would start and I'd do it. Just to make him happy. And I don't know why.
Is it because he helped me when I was lost? Or is it because I have a little crush on him? I don't know, but it doesn't matter now that the deed is done and two security guards look at me like I killed someone.

I nod. "I am aware, that that's illegal, sir."

"Then why did you do it?"

I shrug, "I don't know sir. Can you please let me go and just take the booze. My plane leaves in fifteen minutes and I can't miss it."

"You will be on time for your plane ma'm, we just need to ask you a few questions." The guard explains. After that he asks me if I've even been in contact with the police before, but I've never been.
They took the vodka and let me leave soon after, where a not too Happy Roxy is standing. Her arms are crossed and she is tapping on the floor with her foot. "Care to explain why you got taken away and why my vodka is missing?"

I am silent for a few moments. I didn't want to blame Luke again, even though he did it. So I tried to put us both in a good position.
"Luke reminded me that we can't take more than a certain amount of liquid with us and I remembered that you had vodka in your purse, so he asked me to take it out. He didn't want you getting in any trouble, I'm sorry."

Her face softens a bit, but you can still see she's angry. "Well, you could've just told me, I would have understood. Do you think I am stupid?"

I shake my head, "I'm sorry Roxx, you were just really upset and angry, we didn't want you to feel worse."

"It's really sweet of you to take the blame Amber, but don't do it again, I can handle my own sh*t." Roxy says, before turning away and walking towards where the other boys are standing.

I didn't want to fight with Roxy, but I am pretty sure that this fight will go over like any other fight we've had. We find another subject to talk about and forget why we fought in the first place.
We sometimes had a fight on WhatsApp, but were still friends with each other on other platforms. We talked on instagram direct message like nothing happened and that's what I like about our friendship.

My eyes lock with Luke's and not too long after, he comes walking up beside me. "How'd it go? Did they take the vodka?"

"Ofcourse." I smile lightly at him. "I was shitting my pants out of fear, but I am happy everything's alright now. I felt a bit embarrassed though."

"I would too." Luke laughs as he nudges my shoulder with his'. "Excited for the tour?"

"If it's going to be like this all the time, then, no." I joke an nudge him back a little harder. He has his hands in his pockets and I am holding the shoulder straps of my bag with mine.
I notice how broad his shoulders are, they seem to fit perfectly with his tall body.

"It's going to be fun, I promise. And if it isn't, I will make sure it is." He assures me with a comforting smile on his lips.
Luke is such a nice guy, so I don't really blame myself for having a crush in him, with his looks and his personality, he would be the perfect guy for everyone.
And I know that I am allowed to think this about him, but I can't have him. Because he is my best friend's boyfriend.
Even though I think that me and Luke would be a better couple than Roxy and Luke, I'm still not going to do anything about it. Because I'm not a bad person.

"Thanks, I'll take your word for it." I thank him by nudging his shoulder again. "You're a really nice guy Luke, Roxy should be happy with you."

"Thanks Amber, I really hope she is, we've been fighting a lot lately. I am happy to know why she has been acting this way."

"Yeah, me too." I sigh. "I wish I could help her, but I don't know how. Hell, I didn't even know something was going on. It's sad that she doesn't feel comfortable enough around me to tell me. I mean, we've been friends forever."

"Maybe she's scared that she'll ruin the image you have of her."

"What do you mean?"

"She seems like a perfect person for you right?" Luke asks me. "No problems, perfect relationship, very self assured, she seems like a goddess in your eyes."

I nod speechlessly, he knows exactly what's going on in my head, exactly what I am thinking and it scares me.

"Well, maybe she doesn't want you to think of her as a broken girl, she thinks she will take your place for that." He explains and this scares me even more.
Luke Hemmings knows everything. He knows exactly who plays which part in Roxy and I's friendship.

"I'm not broken." I say quietly. But we both know already that I am lying and that what Luke is thinking is the truth. But I don't know how he noticed it.
I am just trying to act like Roxy, well, the way Roxy wants to be seen.

I guess we both have problems and we both deal with them in a different way.

"Don't lie to yourself Amber. We can all see that you're trying to be as confident as Roxy. Why don't you just step out of her shadow and let your own light shine. Show us who YOU really are."