Shadow [My Best Friend's Boyfriend] LRH

15 A not so relaxing walk on the beach

I actually felt tense about my date with ashton. And even though it was just a walk on the beach, I was scared that he'd fall for me. I feel so selfish and stupid, because I used to lie to boys and tell them that I loved them when it was nothing more than just a mild crush. Ashton seems so pure, I really don't want to lie to him aswell. 
But maybe I'm just being really selfish and he'll never fall for me. And maybe I will eventually like Ashton and Luke and I will be history. But I don't know, all I know is that right now I really want to kiss Luke again and I don't want to use Ashton. But it's already too late, because I've used him to join Roxy on tour with the boys. There's nothing I can do about it other than just walking out of this kitchen right now. But I know that I would hurt Ashton anyway, no matter what I do. 

"Hey." Ashton smiles at me when he enters the kitchen. But what I hadn't counted on was Luke following him. 
I greet him back and give him a silent look that Luke is following him, but he shrugs it off and walks up to me to give me one of his weird hugs. I look over his shoulder just to see Luke looking at us uncomfortably. I smile at him reassuringly, at which he smiles back. 

"Is there anything between you guys that I should know of?" Luke asks us both, but his eyes stay focussed on me. Is he mad at me? 

I shake my head but Ashton nodds, "yeah, kinda."

My cheeks heat up and I immediately convert my look towards my shoes. Great, now Luke will think that I'm a slut. First I go kiss him and the next minute he finds out about me and Asthon. 
"Well..." I say, looking up at Ashton. "We were fake dating, so I could join you guys and Roxy on tour, but we were just about to take a walk."

Luke seems relieved. The frown leaves his face and a small smirk is replaced. "You wouldn't mind if I joined you guys right? I could use some fresh air." He reaches for something behind me, which turns out to be an apple, he takes it up to his mouth and takes a big bite. "since it's all fake I wouldn't be interupting anything, right?" He totally seemed jealous. Every move he made was so slowely, almost as if he was trying to impress me.
He really didn't seem to look away from my eyes. What was his plan? And why have I never seen Luke like this before? 

I feel Ashton looking at me aswell, asking me with his eyes to get rid of Luke. But I clear my throat and nodd. "Ofcourse it's okay." I say with a high squeeky voice. This probably sounded very stupid out of my mouth and I'm guessing that Roxy would have laughed at me already by now. 
She would've never let things get this far, but I guess that I still got a lot to learn. 

I look up to Ashton and see the dissapointment in his eyes, but he still reaches for my hand and pulls me out of the door. 
I really wished that Ashton was Roxy's boyfriend and not Luke, because that would've made it a lot easier. It would just be her and Ashton and me and Luke. But this is the way it is and I just have to get myself over Luke. It is never going to happen. And I should never kiss Luke, or flirt with him again. I can't do that to myself. I just need to fall in love with Ashton and everything will be alright. 

"Okay let's go."

I hear Luke's slow footsteps behind me, making me feel very uncomfortable and almost sick. I just hope that once we get outside this feeling will go away. 

But it didn't go away, I felt like my face was melting and my lips were suddenly very dry. 
What should we talk about? It is clear that Ashton was here to have a fun time with me and I just feel like I'm standing between them. Every move I make is going to have an impact on either one of them. If I keep on holding onto Ashton's hand, Luke will think that there's actually something between me and Asthon. Which I guess there is, but I don't want him to know. 
But if I let go of his hand, Ashton will get sad and he will think that I'm embarrassed of him in front of Luke, which also is kind of true. 

I decide that because there is no way Luke and I could ever get together I shouldn't mind too much. I should just hold on to Ashton's hand and try to have a good time, as if Luke wasn't here. As if Luke was just a friend. Which he is. I mean, I've only known this tall blonde guy for a few days. How could he make such an impact on me in such a short time. 

"The weather is better than it was yesterday." I say softly, to take away the tension, but it seems like I only created more of that when Luke gave me a look that was hard for me to read. 
"Well I liked it better yesterday, there were less people on the beach."

I may be naïve, but I'm sure that he's referring to Ashton, who didn't seem to notice. 
"Really Luke. Did you go to the beach yesterday?" He asks him surprised. 

Luke nodds and shoves his hands deeper in his pockets, "WE were on the beach yeah, I needed to clear my mind."

I clear my throat, now Ashton probably knows that Luke and I went to the beach together. "Because of your fight with Roxy right?" I ask, even though I knew that he had to clear his mind from the kiss that we shared in the hallway earlier.
He gives me a confused look for a second, but then he seems to know what I'm doing. "Yeah."

Ashton doesn't seem to undrstand why Luke and I are acting this way, because he also gives me a confused look. "were you there with him?"

I quickly shake my head, but then shrug. How do I make it not seem suspicious? 
"No, but actually yes." I say, trying to break it down. "We ran into each other, because I just wanted to take a walk when Roxy was sleeping."

"Ah I see." Ashton nodds understandingly. "How about we go get some hot chocolate at the café over there." He points at a small round building which is surrounded by a wooden gangway. It seems cozy and I think that it would be nice to take away the tension. But maybe I'm the only one who notices it. 

We make our way to the café and take a seat in a cozy looking booth. If I were here with either Luke or Ashton (not the both of them) I think I would really enjoy it here. 
"I'll order our drinks," Ashton stands up from the booth, "you both want hot chocolate?"

"I'll have tea." I correct Ashton, "jasmine please."

He nodds and soon he is off to order our drinks at the bar. 
I divert my gaze to Luke and look at him confused. "What are you doing Luke?"

"what do you mean? I'm just sitting here."

I shake my head with a small laugh, "no, why did you join us? I know it wasn't just because you wanted to take a walk."

Luke sighs and shurgs. "You're right. I guess that I just couldn't let you go with him alone. It's stupid, I think I'm just jealous."

I can't stop my cheeks from getting a little redder than they were before. "That's sweet Luke, but you don't need to be, you have Roxy."

He looks at his fingers that were fumbling with a little bag of sugar. "I know, but it just seems weird that you first kiss me and now suddenly you're all into Ashton."
That's what I was afraid of, Luke thinks I'm a slut. Great. But I didn't think that I was showing thát much affection towards Ashton. 

I reach over the table to put my hand on his, "I'm not all into Ashton, But you've got to remember that he is the reason that I am here. If it wasn't for him I'd probably still be at home taking pictures of my cat."

"That seems like fun." Luke laughs and I give a small pinch in his hands. "But I guess you're right, I have Roxy, it's not like there's a big chance that we will get together eventually."

I send him a sad smile. I really wish that there could be a chance for us, I really wish that I have the whole day tomorrow to spend with him and not with Ashton, no matter how sweet he is.