𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚 236

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he whispers in my ears aggravating words, that aren't afraid of being judge by the others , knowing that they have a decisive impact and overwhelming.

Hoseok immediately starts: he takes away my jersey, without holding the desire that is burning inside him like crackling fire.

he looks at me with a crooked smile, with half-closed eyes and messy hair. He's physically handsome. He's so handsome that can take your breath away. This last times I felt flailing , trying so hard to stop that feeling of suffocation, wishing to find some oxygen. Wishing that, in the confusion, I could find his strong arms, ready to embrace me. Wishing that, between his arms, I could find a love that can make me feel complete and good with myself. I wished with a lot of dynamism , remaining joyously in his arms, with him, curled up in his tummy and relaxing in his hot body.

But now, I sustain his look with resignation, I see a stranger. I see a person that took me by hand, cradled me, and seduced me with little and simple gestures. Like I was a toy; something cute and funny. Then I see his palm squeezing me, and I remain in his sweaty flesh. I see a string-puller.  A manipulator. A person that,beyond my longing body,  doesn't want to meet Park Jimin.

And unfortunately, in the reflection of his dark eyes, I scrutinize a damaged body, curved shoulders, curved neck and hair that covers a sad face. Why am I like this? How did I let him reduce me like this? Empty, repugnant but, at the same time, yearning to not abandon him. Hoseok became my vicious habit. 

He's still watching me, like before: a crooked smile, half-opened eyes and messy hair. He lays his cold hands and caresses me. His touch is lethal ; an electrostatic charge that warms me but at the same time it exhausts me. He doesn't want to ruin this precious body, His Jimin, maybe the same jimin that he put in his oblivion. 

He removes my belt, trousers and boxers. And I'm here again, naked in front of his inquisitorial eyes. The first time I was feeling crazy, the feelings that I felt were so strong and gory.

He lifts me up and kisses me, like I was about to go away. Maybe he didn't understood how much I'm tied to him. Even If I would run away, I'll still come back and knock his door. He pus his fingers in my hair that he stops , leaving me admired by his heart-shaped lips.

He hugs me. Squeezing his body into mine, laying his head in y shoulder and biting my neck's skin. He's doing it again, he's making me believe that he has feelings for me. I feel an intolerable feeling in my stomach. I wish I could love him, knowing that it isn't a one sided love, but the reality is different and this leaves me a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't hug him back, this time I won't allow it. 

sorry I forgot to write the chapters to upload cuz I wasn't at home these days! anyway the story is about to finish :(