His Tiny Dancer [COMPLETED]

XXVI

~Monday January 17th~

The whole drive from school to dance I try my hardest to distract my brain. I try reading the name of every street I pass, singing along to the music playing - even though I don't know the words - and counting the cars that I drive by. But no matter what, my train of thought always arrives back at the cast list.

I try convincing myself that it's not that big of a deal what part I get. It's only the last performance I have with this school before I try to go professional. Just my favorite ballet of all time. Nothing but my dream role since I was eleven.

Oh who am I kidding, this is the most important cast list I will ever read. Even more important than the Nutcracker cast list the year I was Clara. I tell myself that I'll be happy no matter what role I get, and hope that this mindset will carry with me into the studio.

I've had my share of disappointing cast lists in my life. One nutcracker season I hoped for the role of party girl, but when I read the cast list I saw that I had a different part instead that I didn't want as much. I was still young though, and I got party girl the next year. And this disappointment helped teach me how to keep my emotions inside when I need to.

After what feels like the longest drive of my life I pull up to the dance studio. After parking my car I grab my dance bag from the passenger seat and get out, taking a deep breath as I walk up to the door.

When I walk in I see that some students two levels below me are here for their own class, and they have certainly already read the cast list. They look up to see who it is when they hear the door open. I watch their reaction to seeing that it's me and find myself gulping in anticipation. They all smile knowingly at me before whispering in each other's ears. The same thing happened when I was Clara, students who already knew my role couldn't keep up their poker face until after I knew.

I try desperately not to get my hopes up. Maybe they're actually laughing at me because my hair is messy. Or someone walked in behind me and they're the one who got Giselle. I put my bag down on the ground in its usual spot, purposely delaying looking at the cast list even though it's the only thing I want to do. I slowly walk over to the wall with the cork board on it, noticing the white piece of paper right away. I force myself to read from the top instead of skipping right to Giselle. In my head, I read

Giselle's mother: Rebecca Wilson

Loys/Duke Albrecht: TBD

Hilarion: TBD

Giselle: Teresina White

Giselle's friends:

Wait! I go back and reread it, not believing my eyes.

Giselle: Teresina White

A smile begins to grow on my face, and my hand slowly comes up to cover it. Since no one in my level is here yet, I should be the only one here who was hoping they had a shot at Giselle. Even still, I don't want to show my excitement too outwardly until I leave the studio. I finish reading the list slowly, excited to see that Andrea is Queen Myrtha - meaning she also has a solo role.

Once I am content - well, more like excited out of my mind, but finished reading - I send a text to the group text which includes all the girls in my level.

"Who wants pics?" I type and send, knowing they will all know exactly what I'm talking about. It only takes seconds before multiple girls respond saying yes, so I snap a picture of the cast list and send it to them, adding "Congrats everybody!"

I leave the corkboard to sit on the floor next to my dance bag and stretch. I still have more people to tell the news of the cast list to. First I open up the group chat for my family, though it's just me and my parents. Mom will be home tonight and my dad is coming home from a trip tomorrow, but I can't possibly wait that long to tell them.