losers' club. 〚hcs〛

Idk What To Call This™ Reddie

:) Reddie; Jealous/Something (: 

[ requested by the beautiful em aka my b. 
this is really fucking funny and i love it so 
anyone who reads this: IT WAS EM'S IDEA 
SO YOUR EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED MK 
ALSO I NEED A NAME FOR THIS CHAPTER 
PLEASE HELP MY POOR SOUL ]

- here we go vroom vroom 

- so the losers were having a sleepover at bev's 

- [ we're going to pretend she lives with only her mom because al marsh is an unacceptable pedophile you get me? ]

- and of course bev is going to leap her ass out of her seat to embarrass any of them 

- so 

- ' i have an idea- lets talk about our crUshEs '

- everyone immediately gets uncomfortable 

- except for ben because benverly is real and alive here thanks

- so ben goes first 

- ' i don't think i need to answer that question,,, we know already ' 

- so they skipped bev too 

- now its mike's turn and he's holding a pillow to his chest because he is a soft boy™ and doesn't want anyone to guess 

- ' do i hAaAaAaAAAAave tooooo??? ' 

- ' at least describe the man, Michael '

- ' fine. hes really nice and really smart and ive known him for a really long time. uh, hes always there for me and hes fucking adorable and i love him so much. hes really pretty- but of course, id never tell him that ' 

- ' aaaAAaAAWwWWWw ' 

- bill is the only one who knows who mike likes so hes trying so hard to hold in his laugh and hes smiling so hard that his cheeks hurt 

- ' i-itll be real wu-one day '  

- ' shut up bill ' 

- now its eddie's turn 

- literally everyone bar eddie know that richie has a crush on him so theyre all like,, leaning in because they need receipts in case he thinks he didn't say that later 

- so no one knows who eddie likes,,, they just know hes gay 

- hes a secretive man™ 

- he didn't want anyone to know anyway 

- ' welp, i think blond guys are hOt ' 

- everyone is gAsPing 

- and richie is just sitting over here with a very very very fake smile on his face and hes shooting daggers at stan,,, whose hair is kind of blond 

- so bev starts laughing her ass off because she knows that hes joking 

- bev's laugh is contagious so soon everyone except richie is laughing 

- they cant b r e a t h e 

- ' damn kaspbrak, do you want to fuck stan thAt badly? ' 

- eddie just shrugs at bill's question 

- so ben is a sly master over here: 

- ' you feeling alright over there, richie? you look kind of,,, you know,,, angry? ' 

- and ben sends richie a wink 

- richie is just fucking done 

- ' alright gotta go kids seeya at school ' 

- so its the next day and richie has missed literally all of his classes 

- its finally lunch time and the losers are sitting at the normal table 

- the cafeteria doors swing open but no one pays attention 

- ' WHAT IN THE FUCKING NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS H CHRIST?? ' 

- they all turn around and in walks richie. 

- with. 

- god. 

- damn. 

- fucking. 

- blond. 

- hair.  

- stan cannot fucking breathe 

- he is leaning against eddie and is laughing so hard that hes banging his fists on the table and no sound comes out 

- soon everyone has tears on their face from laughing 

- so richie sits next to eddie, and says: 

- ' hows my hair looking, spaghetti? am i hot now? ' 

- so eddie is just so disappointed he is literally smh-ing 

- ' you hoe, that was a fucking joke. blond hair is at the bottom of my list- no offense stan, youre gorgeous ' 

- so richie is blushing so hard 

- like his whole face is red 

- ' my wig just flew to asia ' 

- so he grabbed the top of the blond hair and pulled it off 

- turns out it was a wig what a coincidink 

- and he ' yeeted ' it into the nearest trashcan 

- ' that will end up in asia someday '

- now everybody's heading home 

- eddie walks to his house 

- richie rides his bike 

- so richie catches up to eddie 

- so he throws his bike on the side of the road and stops eddie 

- ' before you say anything, eds, have this piece of true information: youre pretty fucking hot and i want to date you like i have a really gay crush on you and that's why i wore the wig but i didn't know that it was a joke so i feel really stupid but you probably don't like me anyway since im so stupid just please don't hate me for liking you because i know youre too perfect to like someone of my kind just can we still be friends? ' 

- richie took a deep breath 

- eddie just giggled 

- ' no. we cant be friends ' 

- so he grabs the collar of richie's shirt and kisses him 

t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶k̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶d̶d̶l̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶o̶a̶d̶