Prego and the Phoenix 🐇↩️✔

Arabella - Fifteen

The fright a mother has when she can't find her child is the most devastating feeling a woman can ever feel. The relief she has when she finds out her child is fine is the most overwhelming sensation she could ever know. Only if you're a mother could you understand the depth of those emotions fully.

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My alarm clock goes off and I moan, reaching up and turning it off. I turn to see if Bourne is still in the bed with me and if he's normal now but feel nothing when I touch behind me. A panic rips through me and I sit up quickly, looking. Bourne isn't there. Fear grips me as I frantically search for him, getting up and looking all over the apartment for him.
"Bourne?! Bourne! Bourne, where are you?! Where are you?!" I yell in fear.
This is great because I can't even keep up with my boyfriend so how am I supposed to keep up with my own kid? Then again, most woman don't have boyfriends who burst into flames and then turn into children... but still! Where can he be? Maybe he went home? I find my cell phone and dial Alexis' number.
"Hola, this is Alexis."
"Alexis, it's me. Arabella."
"Oh." She says, her voice sounding very disappointed. "What is it?"
"Is Bourne with you? He was here at the house and then I woke up and-"
"He is fine."
I sigh with relief. "Thank God! I thought he might have gotten lost. Can I talk to him? Is he okay? What's going on?"
"He is fine. Thank you for calling to check on him." She says softly and then clicks off.
I look at the phone, wondering what the heck that was all about. Maybe he'll be at school today and he can explain to me what the heck happened. I mean, I think I deserve an explanation since I'm his girlfriend. I hurry up and get dressed, waiting for Bourne to come and get me. After a little while, I realize that he's not coming and I head down to the bus station to catch a ride to school.

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As soon as I get into the school, I search the hallways for Bourne and the twins. I scour the whole school and see neither hide nor hair of them. I growl, frustrated, and lean on the wall to look at the place where Bourne usually met up with the twins in the hallway, like a little gang. I feel something come up beside me and I turn.
"Hello, Arabella," Trevor says, looking at his nails. "I see your man isn't here today."
"What's it to you?"
"Did he bail on you?"
"Unlike you, my dear ex, he isn't afraid of me being pregnant. I think he's just sick."
"Ah, I see, I see... Well, I do hope that you find him."
"What do you want, Trevor? You don't just come up to me to chat."
"I was just wondering what you were doing since you're usually with your galoot of a boyfriend. Since he was gone, I wanted to ask."
"Well, it's none of your business really. Goodbye." I say, walking off.
I feel Trevor's gaze after me as I walk to class, wondering if Bourne is okay. I decide that I will call him at lunch if he doesn't come.
Lunch come around and there is no Bourne. I dial his number but it goes straight to voicemail and I leave him a message, feeling a little abandoned and very confused. I replay the evening out again in my head, trying to figure out what exactly I was looking at. From the looks of the bird flying out of him, it was like some sort of eagle thing... the phoenix on his back maybe. But he was shot so did that have anything to do with it? And why didn't he remember me in that state? I mean, he should have at least remembered me a little... He said that he had a feeling for me, like he knew that I was safe without any doubts... I decided to go and look up phoenixes on the computer and see what I could find. He had mentioned that that tattoo was a weird one...
I typed in "phoenix" into the search engine and waited for the sites to come up. I had a vague remembrance of what it was, a fire bird or something that came up from the ashes but what did it have to do with Bourne. I found a description of it on Wikipedia and read it carefully, making sure that I got the full context. I turned my head at the part of it bursting into flames and being reborn. Thinking back on the night I thought Bourne died I remember how everything panned out. It almost seemed like he was reborn, or rather reverted or something...
"Phoenixi, huh? You doing Greece project or is this a hobby?" I hear behind me.
I turn and find one of the twins behind me. I look for a moment and from the scowl, I can tell it's Humphrey.
"Oh, it's you. What are you doing here? Is Bourne with you?"
"No."
"Oh... Then can you tell me what the heck is going on here?"
"I would but I don't think I will as of yet. You need to earn that information. I won't watch Bourne breakdown like he did before. When I see that you are making a considerable effort, then maybe."
I frown and stand up awkwardly. "You don't have control over me or Bourne. Whether I want to see him is of my prerogative."
"That's true. But you've seen him at a very vulnerable time. The last time this happened, the girl did the exact same thing. She accepted him but something happened and... Never mind, I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm protecting Red from girls like you who use your good looks and womanly charm to impress yourselves on him. He falls for it every damn time."
I smack him, tears filling my eyes. Damn these hormones.
"I am not trying to play him or hurt his feelings. I want to be with him because I want to. I don't care what happened! I just want to understand how and why. That's all the explanation that I need!"
Humphrey looks at me with cold eyes. "Then you will have to prove yourself worthy. Right now you're nothing but a woman who's lost the only man who will like her in your state."
I surprise myself when I pull my fist back and land it right into his nose. I hear a crack and I grab my hand, holding my fingers as Humphrey puts his hands over his mouth and doubles over. I stand over him, my hand over my belly in a protective manner and just glare.
"Don't you ever call my pregnancy a "state" and don't you mock the love that Bourne has for me. You may be superficial, but Bourne isn't."
"You're wrong, princess... Bourne only liked you because he figured if he liked you for all you are –pregnancy and all- that you'd be more acceptable to loving him. He was sizing you up, Arabella."
I don't have the fight left in me anymore and so I just sob, Humphrey leaving so that he can go to the nurse's office. I know that Humphrey is wrong. Bourne would never do that to me... Would he? No! No, he would never treat me like I was some sort of trade off. If that were the case he would have revealed that when he was delirious, rambling nothing. No, if he didn't love me, he would have said it when his thoughts weren't clear and unhindered. Bourne loved me and he loved this baby.

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As I ride the bus to my job, I think about trying to call Bourne again but I figure that maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Humphrey looked really mad at me when I told him that I would stay with Bourne no matter what. The way he talked sounded like whoever was Bourne's girlfriend before said the same thing. He was going to go into more detail but he didn't and I sigh, leaning my head against the window of the bus. Anything to make things complicated.
I like where I work because they didn't give me "the look" when I applied and they took into concern my special needs like having to sit down a lot and go to the bathroom a lot. But since it was a small little store that was more like a mom-and-pop sort of thing, they seemed to be more acceptable. They also seemed to believe my situation more than anyone else did whenever I told them and told me that as long as I worked hard for them, they didn't care what or how it happened.
Not many people came to the store and so, I am sitting at my register, reading a book when I see the shadow of a customer loom over me. I quickly put my book up and look up. At first I think I am looking at Humphrey and am about to tell him something involving an F in the word but seeing as this twin doesn't have a bandage over his nose, I figure it is Lochner.
"Why are you here?"
"Alexis sent me to get some juice. I remember you saying you worked here."
"So you come all the way across town so that you can get name brand juice that can be bought from Wal-Mart?"
Lochner smiles sheepishly. "I needed to talk to you."
"Alright..." I say, scanning his juice and getting his total.
"Look, Humphrey told me what he did and I'm really glad you punched him in the nose. He didn't tell Alexis about it but I came to apologize for him. He's a hot head..."
"Well, thanks..."
"I also came to say that he is not doing it to be mean. He's doing it to protect Red. The last time this happened his girlfriend acted like she cared and everything until it happened in public when Red couldn't help it. After that, instead of helping him, she acted like she never knew him and broke up with him. He really thought that she was the one he needed and she broke his heart. He was devastated for weeks. We view Red like a brother and Humphrey is really protective of him because of his... condition. But that gave him no right to say what he did."
"I'm not like that other girl. I'm a completely different person altogether. I am me."
Lochner smiles. "I know. And that's why I hope you don't give up. I think you are the one that Bourne needs. But he's scared now so... it'll take a lot of convincing to get him to realize that it's not all a ruse. I believe in you, Arabella."
He waves and leaves the store. I sigh, still not understanding. But at least I have the support of someone from the inside. Maybe he will make it a little easier to convince Bourne that I am not joking nor and I like that other girl. I will show Bourne that we were meant to be together and that I love him as much as he loves me.