Prego and the Phoenix 🐇↩️✔

Arabella - Thirty-One

Time moves quickly when you're doing so many things. Having stuff to fill the void doesn't compare to what was lost but it sure does help to make things easier to forget. Years pass by but sometimes, the day comes to remember what you lost and you just can't escape...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Mommy?" I hear in the middle of the night.
I open my eyes and see Phoenix in the door, holding his big stuffed owl and in his Kermit footy pajamas. There is a raging storm outside and I'm sure that's why he's here.
"You scared?" I ask softly and he nods. "Come on then," I say, holding the covers up.
He rushes in and jumps, snuggling up beside me with his owl.
"I'm sthowwy I'm sthcawed, Mommy." He says.
"There's no need to apologize. Everyone is scared of something and there is nothing wrong with being afraid of thunder."
"Uncle Lochnew sthaysth I shouldn't be sthcawed of sthtowms cuz they help the en-fiwe-mint... Mommy, what'sth a en-fiwe-mint? Isth it hot?" he asks, looking up at me with big clear blue eyes.
I chuckle. "No. It's the stuff that makes up where we live. The trees and buildings and stuff are our environment. And sometimes Uncle Lochner is a little harsh. He doesn't mean to be though..."
"Yeah... Wisthe-Assth isth not sthcawed though." He says, holding up the owl.
Ever since he lost his front tooth, his words have had a small lisp to them and I love it... except when he named his owl Wise Ass because Lochner thought it was funny. I tried and tried to get him to change the name but it stuck and so we tried to narrow it down to W.A. Owl, but Phoenix likes to call him by his 'given name'.
"No, W.A. is a brave owl. Owls have to fly in storms like this sometimes to get their food sometimes-"
A piercing scream flooded the house and Phoenix shuddered.
"What'sth that?" he whispered.
"I think it's your uncle. You stay here okay? I'll go check up on him."
He nods and I get out of bed, putting my robe on.
I open Lochner's door and find him thrashing about on the bed, yelling and screaming and crying. I turn his light on and grab his shoulders to steady him, yelling his name. He finally snaps open his eyes and grabs me tightly, holding me close and shivering.
"It was just a dream, Lochner... It's just a dream..."
"No... it was a memory..." he says shakily as I rub his back.
"That's in the past now. There's no need to fear Trevor again."
"It wasn't about Trevor." he says, his eyes burning into mine. "It was Bourne. It was about when he died... If I had it then you-know-who had it too."
"I see... Do you want to call and make sure he's alright?"
"No. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk about him either. Just... let me be..." he says, pushing away from me and curling up in his blankets.
I sigh and go back to my room, where Phoenix is clutching W.A. and looking at me with wide eyes.
"Isth Uncle Lochnew okay?"
"He's fine. He had a bad dream, that's all."
Phoenix looks at W.A. and then starts to climb out of bed.
"Where are you going, Fire-rat..." I say with a smirk.
"Wisthe Assth will help Uncle Lochnew keep histh bad dweamsth away..."
I follow him back to Lochner's room but he is stopped, looking pensive.
"What's wrong?"
"Uncle Lochnew isth cwying."
I sigh and kneel in front of Phoenix, taking his hand in mine.
"Uncle Lochner sometimes has bad dreams that make him cry but just remember that he loves you, alright? It's alright for a man to cry every once in a while; don't let those people on TV or other people say that that's not how a man should be. A man has all the capabilities as a woman, he just doesn't show them often. So when a man cries, it's because must. Go in there and help Uncle Lochner be happy again, okay?"
Phoenix nods in confidence, looking as if he will solve all of Lochner's problems with his stuffed owl.
He opens the door and I watch in the crack as Phoenix grabs his step stool and climbs onto the bed. He shakes Lochner and when he turns over, Phoenix shows him the owl.
"Wisthe Assth will keep youew bad dweams away, okay? Cuz it'sth okay to cwy if you gotta. 'kay?"
Lochner smiles and rustles Phoenix's hair.
"Thanks little Fire-rat." He says softly.
Phoenix grins and gets off the bed, running to me.
"I did it! I helped him!"
"That you did, honey... Now come on, let's get back to bed."
We walk back to the room and go to sleep.

*****************************

"Good morning, Ms. Marquez; come to see Humphrey today?" the receptionist asks with a smile.
I try to visit Humphrey every couple of months and especially on the day that Bourne died. I decided that today I am going to try and break the barrier between the Humphrey that I knew and the one that is stuck here. He needs to come home and he needs to face his fear. I know he can but he blames himself too much. If I can just get him to understand that it had nothing to do with him, then maybe I can bring him home... Lochner won't like it but he has to face his fears too.
The receptionist hands me the visitor pass and I go find Humphrey's room.
As I open the door, I see Humphrey on the bed with a cold rag over his eyes. I can tell he is sleeping from the even up and down of his chest and so I remove the rag and shake him gently.
"Humphrey? Wake up for me..."
He moans and then opens his eyes a little.
"You have a headache?"
"I had a bad dream last night..." he says, sitting up. "I really didn't like it."
"What was it about?"
"I don't remember but it was not good..."
"Was it about Bourne?"
"Bourne is my friend." He says with a smile.
"Yes, I know. Was that what your dream was about?"
"It was a bad dream."
"Humphrey," I say, grabbing his arm. "Did Bourne die in your dream?"
He narrows his eyes at me and wrenches his hand away, walking to his desk.
"You're a mean lady. Bourne is my friend."
"Was Lochner there?" I ask, saying a forbidden name. "And Trevor?"
He stiffens and then turns to me, pure malice in his eyes.
"Those are bad words. You aren't allowed anymore; get out!"
"I most certainly will not." I growl. "Tell me, Humphrey, was Lochner in your dream? Was your brother there?"
"I don't have a brother."
"Yes you do. He's your twin brother!"
"Stop saying those things! Those things hurt!" he yells, holding his hands over his ears. "Go away!"
I grab his hands away from his ears and hold them as tightly as I can.
"No. I'm going to break this barrier you've got up. You've been in here for five years, Humphrey, and not one of these doctors has tried to help you! You have to remember because it wasn't your fault!"
The horror on his face was almost heartbreaking.
"How do you know?" he says softly. "How do you know what I did?"
"Lochner told me what happened."
"Then he hates me! Just like everyone else! I killed him! I killed Bourne! I KILLED MY FRIEND!!!"
"But it wasn't your fault." I tell him grabbing his face and looking him in the eyes. "Humphrey, it wasn't you that did it. Trevor made you, Trevor killed Bourne, not you."
"I shot him..." he wails, tears streaming his face. "I shot him a bunch of times..."
"Did you want to?"
"No..."
"Then it wasn't you. Please believe that... Humphrey, everyone is waiting for you to come home. Everyone still loves you..."
"Home?"
"Yes, with me and Lochner and Phoenix... Alexis can come too if she likes..."
"Home... I... I don't have one..."
"Of course you do. I promise that it won't be like here. You will have people who love you to care for you. You can meet my son."
"But he'll hate me too. He doesn't want to see me..."
"My son?"
"Him."
"Oh... Lochner will just have to deal with it because it's my house."
The door opens and Dr. Deep walks in, a frown on his face.
"Ms. Marquez, that is quite enough. Aaron says you've been badgering him and that's not what he needs."
"He needs to be with family."
"Until he can break through his barriers, then he cannot go home."
"I want to go home now..." Humphrey says softly. Everyone turns to him. "I don't wanna stay here."
Dr. Deep looks at me and then at Humphrey.
"Are you sure?"
Humphrey looks at us and then at me.
"I don't want to be here anymore. I wanna see Arabella's baby and... and my brother..."
"What's his name, Humphrey?" Dr. Deep asks softly.
Humphrey looks at me and then looks up sheepishly.
"L...L... Lo...ch...ner... Lochner..."
Dr. Deep smiles and ruffles Humphrey's longer hair.
"Alright son, you can go home."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A/N: please keep in mind that this story was written a very long time ago so the whole trauma issue was still new to me. that being said, i thought i finished updating this story a while back so yeah...