Prego and the Phoenix 🐇↩️✔

Bourne - Eighteen

If there was ever a time that I needed you, it would be now. If there was ever a time that your love was needed, it is now. Please... Please just let me hold you and love you. Let everything you know about me be a memory. All the past of my life can be taken away from me if only you stand by my side.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As I get ready to leave for work I see Lochner in the kitchen meddling with things.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I ask, sitting down at the kitchen table.
He cuts his eyes at me and turns away.
"Nothing you would be concerned about." He says curtly.
I look at him and he opens the fridge, taking out the orange juice.
"Loch?"
"What?"
"What's wrong? Are you mad at me?"
Lochner turns and glares, his sea green eyes almost piercing. I narrow my own because out of the twins, Humphrey is the more angry one and suddenly Lochner is angry?
"Angry? Oh no, I'm furious at you."
"Why?"
"Don't play stupid." He growls, slamming the orange juice on the counter. "You antics are making me mad."
"What is the problem?"
Lochner sighs, running this fingers through his hair.
"Bourne, did you ever stop and think about what Arabella thinks? I mean, you love her to pieces and then all of a sudden you drop her like you've just dropped off yesterday's laundry without a care. She loves you, Bourne! She wants to be with you and you push her away like she's garbage! Did you know that she's sick?"
"What?"
"She's sick with a cold. That's what I'm doing. She doesn't have the stamina to make her own food so I've been trying to help her out. If you had been paying attention or even cared, you'd know these things."
"She's sick?" " I say, looking down at my shoes.
"Yes. Nothing bad, just a cold or something."
"The baby?"
"She said she called her doctor about it and the baby is doing fine."
I nod and lean back in the chair. I shake my head and tie my shoes, heading to work.

****************************

During work, all I can think about is if Arabella and the baby are alright. It might not be that dangerous but if things turn for the worst... I get paid today and so I go home, grab Lochner's bag of good and drive over to Arabella's house, hoping she's okay.
When I get there though, I find the door unlocked and I open it cautiously, making sure no one's inside. I hear coughing and go to the couch to find Arabella there, looking half aware of anything. I frown.
"Woman, you will be the death of me." I say, kneeling next to the couch where she is.
I touch her face, feeling her flushed skin and sigh again. Stupid girl... She hacks and turns over to spit in her tissue and groans. I sigh again and see that there are tears in her eyes. I lean down and pull her into my arms. Even though she is pregnant and is heavier than I expected, I can easily hold her in my arms. I take her to her room and am going to sit her down on the bed when she grabs me around the neck and snuggles.
"Bourne, please don't leave me..." she sighs and sniffles.
I look at her, feeling tears soak through my shirt and I suddenly feel the baby kick against my stomach. I look down at her and she cries harder against me. Instead of setting her down on her bed, I sit down and roll over, holding her close to me as I put my fingers through her slightly feverish brown hair. The baby kicks against me and I see that I have been wrong about the whole thing with her. But I'm scared... I don't want to trust her just yet with everything... It's embarrassing and so humiliating that... I just can't right now. I will care for her and slip out before she wakes.

**************************************

"And where have you been all this time? What's that on your shirt?" Ma asks when I walk in.
I look down and see that the wetness from Arabella's tears on my shirt are still there. I clear my throat and sit down for dinner instead of answering. Lochner looks at me and Humphrey eats a biscuit nosily, not being able to breathe through his nose still.
"Yeah, where have you been all day? You didn't come to school and we didn't see you when you got home." He asks.
Lochner lifts his eyebrows at me and I continue to ignore. Ma sits down with the spaghetti and looks at me.
"Miel, why won't you answer us?"
"You went to her, didn't you?" Lochner asks.
I look up and meet his eyes as the other two stare at me.
"Yes..."
"Oh, amor, why are you torturing yourself like this? If you want to be with her, then be with her. I like her and she obviously loves you... She is the one for you and yet you keep pushing her away like that." Ma says, sipping wine.
"Why did you go?" Humphrey asks.
"Lochner said she was sick so I went to see how she was... maybe talk with her a little. But when I got there, she wasn't doing too well and so I stayed with her to watch over her. Do you know, that little twit had her front door unlocked?" I give a weak laugh. "She could have gotten herself killed... What was that girl thinking..."
"Are you going to tell her now?" Humphrey asks.
I sigh, dipping spaghetti into my plate and then shaking my head in confusion and indecision.
"I want to but I'm... I'm scared. I can't lose her like I lost my last girlfriend. I can't have that happen again or I will never be the same, I will never trust another woman other than Ma, and be ruined for life."
"I don't think she will do that to you." Lochner says, eating noodles. "She loves you too much. That other girl wasn't like Arabella. I'd think about it for the night and then after work tomorrow, go to her house and explain it just how you want to. Either that, or start going back to school..."
"You do need to go back to school, Bourne." Ma says. "They have been calling about you."
"Yeah I know... I'll see what I can do."
They nod and for the first time in weeks, the night is pleasant with pleasant conversation.

******************************

I get up to go to work, refreshed and ready to face Arabella afterward. As I start to head out the door, the wind kicks up and I shiver violently, hugging myself. I look up at the 3:00 AM sky and can see the silhouettes of oncoming clouds. A snow storm is going to be coming through at some point and I shiver again, but not from the cold. If it's too bad, I will have to postpone going to Arabella's house because it will be too risky to stay in the snow for a long time. I walk to the car and head up to UPS.
As I'm working along at the belt, pulling packages off the bus and also switching with the sorting of packages down the belt, I hear the bosses behind me start talking.
"Red!" one yells.
I turn and he motions for me to come over to him. I nod and he yells for another guy to take my place as I go over to him.
"What is it?" I ask.
"There's someone up in the break area that wants to speak with you pretty adamitely."
"There is? Who would come up here at 4:30 in the morning?"
"I don't know but it seems like something personal so... go fix it up and then get back here quickly."
I nod and go up the stairs, wondering who exactly it could be that would travel all the way across the city just to talk to me. I mean, they could have called if they needed to speak that badly...
I open the door but when I look inside, I frown at who I see.
"Arabella."
She turns to me, wrapped in a huge coat with a fur lined hood and Ugg shoes. She looks really pissed at me and I just breathe in deep.
"What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! I don't know! Why don't you tell me, you backstabbing lying bastard!"
"Whoa, calm down. What are you talking about?"
"'I don't want to be with you anymore', you said. 'I'm done with you', you said. Yet you come to my house last night and leave me $150 bucks and tuck me into bed! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"I don't know what you're griping about, Arabella." I say calmly.
She walks up to me and smacks me hard on the face and the starts hitting me.
"You never told me you left! You never even explained! You just left without telling me and I was so scared! You were just a little boy when I last saw you and then you were gone! What if something had happened to you?! What if you had gotten kidnapped!? Why did you just leave? I don't understand anymore and you won't talk to me! You won't let me help..." she whimpers, finally breaking down into tears, her blows a little less intense.
I sigh and take hold of her wrists to keep her from hitting me again. I look into her eyes that are flowing with tears and I put on of her arms down to reach up and wipe a tear away.
"I'm sorry that I made you cry." I say softly. "And I will explain. I promise..."
"Then tell me now."
"I can't. I have to get back to work. I'm sure the bosses are wondering why I have a pregnant girl up here this early in the morning. I will come by your house after work and explain, alright? I promise."
Arabella sniffles and snatches away from me.
"I don't care anymore. If you don't want to talk, then fine. I don't want to hear it. See if I care."
I roll my eyes at her as she hugs herself in her coat and I put my hands in my pockets.
"Arabella, I'm not trying to avoid you. I just can't talk right now. Go back home and sleep. And the money was because I was helping."
"Well here!" she yells, throwing the money at me. "I don't want your stupid charity you ass!"
She stomps out of the room and I follow her.
"Be careful on the stairs."
"Shut the hell up!" she snarls and I have to chuckle.
I make sure she gets to the bus stop safely and then get back to work.
My boss comes up to me after she is gone and turns his head.
"What a vivacious woman. She your girlfriend?"
"In all honesty, I'm not sure. I think so..."
"That's a weird answer."
"It's a weird relationship. In my eyes, yes she is."
"That your kid?"
"No. Sheesh, don't you think I would have told you so that I would claim him on my W-2?"
"True. Get back to work, Marquez."
I nod and go back to my station.