Naruto One Shots! O P E N!! OH YEAH!!

~Kakuzu x reader lemon~

Im going to hell. I accept my fate.

As soon as the water cuts off in the middle of her morning shower, Y/n knows without a moment's hesitation who's to blame.

"KAKUZU!" she roars, growling like an enraged animal as sudsy rivulets of partially-lathered shampoo drip down her face.

"Goddamn penny-pinching bastard!" She rips a towel from the rack and hastily wraps it around her soaking-wet body, grumbling all sorts of not-very-nice things about her maddeningly frugal comrade under her breath.

She throws the bathroom door open, practically slamming it through the wall in her rage, and stomps down the hall to Kakuzu's room, the white bath towel whipping around her legs.

The Akatsuki's youngest member, Deidara steps out of his room, glancing up in surprise to see the organization's newest recruit coming down the hall toward him like a bat out of hell.

"Hey, Y/n-chan," he says, his one visible eye peering at her curiously."Why the rush – something wrong, uhn?"

Y/n looks at him with such intense fury that Deidara feels like he's just been set on fire.

Her eyes, which are normally a warm, shimmering e/c, blaze like hot molten metal.

"Get the hell out my way, blondie!" she sneers, shoving him into the wall as she barrels past him.

He just stares after her in dumb shock for a few moments before retreating sadly into the safety of his room.

Y/n slams open the door to Kakuzu's room and he looks at her without an iota of surprise, pulling off his hood and running a hand through his long dark hair. He'd heard her banshee-like shriek from the bathroom and figured it wouldn't be long till she expressed her seething rage with him face-to-face. He eyes her dripping-wet body and smirks beneath his mask. "You look like a drowned rat," he says, taking off his cloak and hanging it from one of the bedposts.

"What did you do, forget to put the toilet seat down?"

She grits her teeth in a furious scowl, her hands clenched in tense fists. "What the hell did you do to the water, you asshole?"

Kakuzu just stares at her with a stoic look, not saying anything in return. "I was in the middle of taking a shower and the fucking water cut off!"

"Ah, that," Kakuzu says. "The water bills have been far too high lately, so I installed a timer on the shower to restrict water usage – it provides a set amount of time for the shower to run and resets itself every hour." He pauses, giving her a stern look. "It was never a problem before you joined the Akatsuki, Y/n – the others understood how to limit the length of their showers to the ideal amount of time, just as you'll have to."

"The ideal amount of time?" she says, unclenching her fists and placing her hands on her hips in a defiant posture. "How the fuck long is that supposed to be?"

"Five minutes," Kakuzu answers. "Plenty of time to do what needs to be done in an efficient and cost-conscious manner."

"Five minutes is not enough time!" she retorts. "I'm a woman, Kakuzu – I have a lot more hair to wash than the others do!"

He eyes the h/l of h/c locks plastered to her wet skin. "Itachi and Deidara have just as much hair as you and they don't take as long in the shower," he points out.

Shiori glowers at him, her teeth bared in a snarl. "Itachi and Deidara don't have to shave their legs like I do," she hisses. "What the hell gives you the right to tell me how to do things? Last time I checked, you weren't my boss. If Leader wants me to do something, I'll do it – but I'm not about to take orders from you."