So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version)

50: The Joker and the Thief

"You can hate Harry all you want, but his system works."

This was from Beatrice of course since you'd never catch me having anything nice to say about Harry, especially after the royal fucking he had administered to my life with no lack of glee on his part.

I sincerely hoped that my face wasn't betraying what my mind was thinking. I was making every effort not to run away across the parking lot in a blind panic, mainly because I didn't want to have to deal with Harry right now. Beatrice also made me just a little nervous for all the wrong reasons, and I couldn't shake the feeling that she was watching me and trying to decide if I was tasty or not. Running was looking quite appealing, but I didn't think Beatrice would have any problems catching me even at my fastest running speed. It would probably be best to play along and not show any signs of alarm.

"Um, didn't he just beat the shit out of you?"

Apparently, my mouth hadn't gotten the memo to shut the fuck up.

"Yeah, but I got over it," she said. "He only did it to remind me how much he cares about all of us."

"You're out of your mind," I said hoarsely, not quite believing what I was hearing. This level of crazy was usually reserved for battered wives and cultists.

"Yes I am! Thank you for noticing," Beatrice agreed, and there was something there, something honest and chilling that said that she knew exactly what she was and that she was very happy with it, thank you very much. She continued. "You don't understand, but you will. Without him, there would be only chaos, and we can't have that, right?"

I followed her to the car, completely aware of how little I knew about being a vampire.

***

You don't even notice how much Harry makes it all work, how easily vampire society fits in with ordinary human society. It's only when something breaks that you would notice. You're probably going about your daily routine not realizing just how well the system works and keeps on working. If you're still only aware of vampires as a fictional construct, then congrats: the system is still working very well, and it's because of Harry and vampires like him.

At the time, I still had to experience the entire vampire experience, so I had no idea just how seamless this integration was. I had been able to slip back into my old life while everything was screaming at me that none of this was normal, and somehow managed to ignore that screaming version of myself, because that guy was just all screamy and panicky and nobody wants to deal with that shit. That should have been my first clue and the screamy-panicky side of me was right for a change.

Let me break it down for you, since I have the advantage of hindsight and you clearly lack it.

Harry had integrated almost seamlessly with the city, working out some arrangements for medical, police, security, and especially on the corporate level, to take care of his people. The fact that so many of his vampires were massively invested in large corporations that were critical to the functional aspect of the city, that was just the piece de resistance, a big part of Harry's plan.

If a vampire got himself killed or seriously fucked up, when the EMTs showed up, there were certain procedures they had to run. It was a testament to the amount of thought Harry and his people had put into the preservation of vampires in the city.

One of the largest manufacturers of medical equipment in the city was run by a family of vampires. They made equipment used by the EMTs and Police Department, as well as in the Emergency Rooms at all area hospitals. This equipment was designed to scan for vampires, and it did its job well. The EMTs, for instance, were essential to the system and were closely monitored. Non-standard equipment was never to be used, ever.