So I Might Be a Vampire - Book 1 (Original Version)

51: The Drunken King

You know that scene you always see in the movies where the hero pulls up to the club in the limousine and exits triumphantly because everything was finally coming up aces for him? Yeah, that was me as I exited the limousine, Beatrice close behind and no doubt smirking at me.

"That's right Bobbikins, enjoy it. Just soak it up," she said, and I stood there for a long moment, aware that everybody in the long line of beautiful people was wondering just who the hell I was and hey, maybe I was someone they knew, and maybe I could get them inside.

My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket, and I pulled it out, realizing just how much of a douchebag I must look at that moment. It was Claude.

I briefly considered answering and sent one of the default text messages instead.

-Sorry, can't talk now.

The phone went quiet, and I wondered how long it would take for him to text me back. He was undoubtedly pissed at me, especially after I'd just disappeared again after having been disappeared for a week already. Oh well, since I was already up Shit-Creek, might as well enjoy my stay, right?

The line literally stretched around the block and it was legendary as lines go since HTDK was one of the hardest clubs in the city to get into. I could now remember hearing stories from Sammy about how she'd heard about some guy or girl paying someone to stand in line for them all night, and they still hadn't gotten inside. Sammy herself had been trying to get passes to the club or at least meet someone, anyone who could get her inside, so it was extremely ironic that of all the people she knew, I was likely going to be her ticket inside.

"I think that blonde over there will deep-throat the fuck out of you if you took her inside with you," Beatrice whispered and I looked over to see what she was talking about. An extremely hot blonde chick was making eyes at me, all hot and steamy and pouty... and did she just lick her lips at me?

I broke my gaze away from the horny blonde and took another good look at the club that loomed over us, the club that ruled the desires of all of these pretty strangers on Friday nights. It wasn't a normal converted warehouse like some clubs tended to be. It had been a bottling plant in its former life some twenty or thirty years ago and was all brick walls and steel beams. Someone had replaced the plate glass windows that stood on either side of the gigantic doors with those thick glass bricks that distorted everything behind them and made everything in front of them look even cooler by proximity. Of course, someone had stuck a light behind them, so the glass bricks made pretty patterns on the people and on the sidewalk.

And those gigantic doors? At least ten feet tall and made of solid oak with black metal studs running along the top and the bottom. Those doors said several things to everyone looking at them, things like "you're not getting in here buddy, so go home now" and "turn back now before the dragons get you."

There were two huge well-dressed bouncers holding court at the front of the line and I instantly knew that they were human. They seem to be very committed to their jobs of deciding who made it past them to be allowed to enter that fearsome door, a nice reminder of exactly why I hated clubs with a passion.

My phone buzzed.

-Dude, what the actual fuck? Where are you?

-It's a vampire thing. Harry sent someone for me, but I think it's okay. Mostly.

-You should have waited for me.

-Didn't have a choice. I'll call you when I get out of this, okay?

-I'm not even sure what to say anymore dude. You're an adult. You make your own choices. Don't be a shitty friend. Make sure you call me.

I took another look at the line and decided that the people there either hadn't seen the doors or they were getting a completely different message than I was. Another big reminder of my passionate hatred of clubs: the impossible lines to get in and some of the pretentious and annoying people in said impossible lines.