Warrior Cats: The Deaf Warrior

Chapter Thirty Six

Goosepaw felt a paw nudging him awake. He wondered, slightly excited, whether Fuzzytuft had decided to sneak into his den to pay him a visit.

He was slightly disappointed to see Sheepcloud instead, and immediately felt guilt. His mother was more important to him than Fuzzytuft would ever be. She didn't say a word, simply leading her son out of his den.

He followed Sheepcloud out of the camp. Bramblepelt, who was guarding the camp, gave Goosepaw a sympathetic look and a small smile.

They crossed one of the frozen streams. Goosepaw wondered if they would walk to the lake. It would bring back memories of his happy times with Fuzzytuft. Maybe he might daydream about her to distract himself from his problems.

Then he realised that Sheepcloud was glaring at him. He backed away a little, shaking. His mother was scary. Then she started speaking fast. He couldn't understand. "Too fast." He mewed, but she only spoke faster.

And then she suddenly slowed down. "See? You can't understand. If someone sneaks up on you during battle, if someone yowls a warning, you wouldn't hear it!"

Goosepaw knew everything the white she cat was saying was true, as much as he didn't believe it. But he also genuinely believed that he wasn't capable of being a medicine cat. Mossfur worked so hard, and he couldn't imagine how difficult it must be for her. He wouldn't even be able to work half as hard as a medicine cat. Cats would die because I would panic too much instead of healing them. I get scared too easily.

He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry..."

Sheepcloud's eyes widened. "Don't apologise. I'm just trying to make a point to you. You'll never be a warrior, no matter how hard you try, it won't be good enough."

She's right. Maybe a deaf cat like me should just go straight to the elders' den rather than trying to serve my Clan.

Sheepcloud moved closer to him, licking the top of his head. He could feel her purring. She moved away so she could face him, "Do you understand yet? I just want you to understand. You're a smart cat, just as smart as your father," she smiled a little after mentioning Flamefeather. It was clear that even though he disagreed with him regarding Goosepaw that he still loved him dearly. "I just want you to be safe. That's all I want. Your brother will be a great warrior, you won't be bringing shame to your family. You don't need to be embarrassed of who you are, you just need to accept yourself first. You never accept yourself, always trying to be someone you're not. That's painful for anyone to experience."

Goosepaw knew how much his mother cared for him. Or at least, how badly she wanted to protect him. Sometimes, he felt like she hated him, but then he saw her act like this, and he knew she still felt love towards him. But she must like Scorchpaw more! He's normal!

They headed back to camp, and then Goosepaw remembered.

I'm doing my warrior assessment again in two days.

He glanced at Sheepcloud. Would he be selfish if he tried to pass? Would he be denying his mother happiness? He still believed that Flamefeather and Scorchpaw supported his dream of becoming a warrior, but what if he was completely gone?

He headed back to the apprentices' den, aware of Sheepcloud's eyes fixed on him.

Mother, I'm sorry.

But I want to be a warrior. I want to hunt, I want to fight alongside my brother in battle.