I, Death

Monday May 28, 2012 - 11:17 PM

I’ve tried several times to write about this, to explain the events of the evening, but every time I try, I keep tripping on the words and keep getting ahead of myself.

I’ve decided to make an effort not to rush the events of the evening but to try to go through them in the manner in which they happened — because every time I get ahead of myself, I trip up and it’s a big ball of madness in my head and not a clean, straightforward narrative that I’m trying to map out for myself, to properly deal with it.

So here’s what happened, right from my last post during the early evening of May 13th.

Robbie came around the corner of a pillar near Starbucks and was heading toward me with two cups of coffee. I can’t remember if they’re called Verte or Grande or Lardass or whatever the hell Starbucks calls them, just that they were the large size.

He handed one over to me just as I was pushing the “publish” button for this blog on the Internet Café computer. I tried blocking the screen with my body as much as possible, as if I was preventing Robbie from seeing porn or something on the screen. (Although I’m sure that a public computer like this or maybe even one at the library wouldn’t allow people to browse through porn on it)

“What are you doing?” Robbie asked.

“Ah, just checking some email,” I said, thumbing the computer monitor off and then hitting the reset button that shut down the computer and ended my session. I thought back to the time he’d told me how he was an expert at reading people and wondered if the bemused look on his face meant that he knew I was lying.

“What next?” I said, sipping the coffee. It had an Irish cream taste to it.

Robbie smiled. “I had them add a shot of Irish Cream flavour to the coffee. But then I also added a nip of Irish Cream to it as well.” He lifted the flap off the laptop bag that he carried around on his shoulder everywhere, revealing the neck of a bottle of Bailey’s. He took a sip from his own coffee and then added: “Okay, maybe more than just a little nip.”

I laughed. “This is awesome, I’m having a great time.”

We then spent the next hour or so browsing through the store, Robbie pointing out countless titles to me that he’d read and loved.

By that time, we’d finished our coffees, and Robbie had found a quiet spot where nobody could see what he was doing to top up our coffee cups with Baileys. As we drank down the creamy alcohol, he started telling me about this one time when he was a kid and almost got locked in a Canadian Tire store overnight. He had crawled inside one of the pup tent displays and had fallen asleep, not waking up until after the store had closed.

We were laughing about how Robbie’s father had been searching all over for him, thinking he’d run away from home due to a fight they’d had earlier in the day when this creepy looking man approached Robbie from behind. I remember the odd leering look on the man’s face, (it specifically reminded me of the look on the face of the original Nosferatu in that old black and white German film) and the way in which he’d started walking towards us purposefully. And then, just as Robbie turned in a retelling of the fight between him and his father over the desired purchase of a Canadian Tire basketball, the man quickly shifted, ducked behind some tall shelves, and was gone from view.

If I’d known the trouble this man was going to cause, I would have tried to get us out of the store sooner, before he came back.

But of course, I had no idea, back then, what was going to happen.

Okay, I’m starting to get ahead of myself. But rather than just delete this and trying to start over, like I’ve done so many times, I’m going to stop here, take a break and get the rest of my thoughts together.