I, Death

Tuesday August 21, 2012 - 10:47 PM

Damn, I’ve been sitting here for about half an hour, just staring at the damned keyboard and not able to get it out. It’s not that there’s nothing swirling around in my fucking head. I just can’t seem to get it out. Being away from this journal for so many weeks seems to have put a stop to the rhythm I had fallen into.

It's funny. That Kim person left a comment on my last post asking why I didn't write it out long-hand, like I'd done before. But I guess I was so distraught when Jag died, especially following so closely after Robbie's demise, that I sank into a funk where I wasn't able to write. I just read, watched movies, and stared out the window. It's all I seemed capable of doing for so long. And it's taking me a while to get back into the habit I'd previously been in where I could just write out the things I'd been going through.

I have found one thing, though, a side-effect of all of this that is okay with me.

Sarah. I haven’t thought about her in several weeks.

And when I think about her now, sure, it’s with a pang, an emptiness, a sense of loss, but it’s not the same obsessive compulsion that it used to be.

 So thoughts of Sarah are still there, and it hurts to have lost her, still hurts to think about her, but it’s not as bad as it was a few months ago.

I think I’m getting over her.

Finally.

And it only took how many deaths to get to this point?