hard | daniel seavey

two

3 years ago.. daniel's pov

"Daniel, you gotta stay with us, buddy," I heard Jonah's voice as I felt myself being rushed. A million lights above my eyes, blurring as they whooshed by. I almost felt numb, then a stinging pain in my forearm. I looked down, having trouble due to the breathing mask on my face, I saw blood seeping through what must have been a gauze. Hovering my glance to my other arm, an IV with tubes going here and there, attached. Finally, I saw Jonah. And as soon as I saw him, he disappeared. Closing my eyes, I let myself fall into a trance, not wanting to feel anything.

I still felt the sting as I heard thousands of machines and beeps that you'd hear when something isn't right. Doctors hollering orders and nurses fulfilling tasks to keep me alive. I could feel myself dying. My memory was rocky, I couldn't remember why I was even here.

A doctor came over to me, seeing I was awake, "We need morphine!" He screamed to a nurse, who then stabbed a syringe with some kind of serum into me, leaving.. me.. tired.. when I was left staring at nothing but black, darkness.

-

"Daniel?"

"Is he awake?"

"I don't know, I think-"

"He's waking up!"

My eyes fluttered open. I could feel the bloodshot, redness in them. My arm felt worse than before I fell unconscious, I lay still, only moving my eyes around the room. Everyone was there. Jonah, Zach, Corbyn, Christina, Jack, Maya. Even Ayla's dad was there. In my hospital room. I lifted my arm and felt like it had been cut off, "Ah!" I groaned, wanting to hold it like a baby. Jonah came up to me, "Hey! Don't put any pressure on it. There were a lot of microscopic pieces of glass in your arm and they had to operate on it to get them out. You could've died with the amount of blood you lost," He spoke, sounding worried.

I felt no emotions, "Would've been better that way." I huffed, my glance turning to my arm. It was wrapped in a cast-like structure, a little red seeping through it.

"Don't say that," Jack scolded, coming up to my bedside. I sighed, "Why do you think I did it?" I felt my eyes roll, then licked my lips. The room went quiet. "Daniel. I know that Ayla leaving was hard on everyone. You especially, but you need to live on," Her dad was beginning to lecture me, I pretended to not listen, "Because one day Ayla's going to come back and when she sees that you're gone too, she's going to lose what little she has left," Her father, Tony, spoke. "My daughter loved you so much. I'd never seen her as happy with anyone else but you. She loved you more than you will ever know. But I'm not saying you shouldn't move on. I mean, go out and date other people but only when you are ready. Don't just shut the world out. Or else you'll end up like Ayla; scared and alone in the world, not wanting anybody to help." Tony's eyes fell on me.

"You don't have to worry, sir. You know why?"

Silence lay steadily.

"I hate her. I don't want anything to do with her for the rest of my life." I could feel everyone else's hearts shattering. Mine especially. That was a lie. A God damned lie. But was I going to admit that? No. Of course not. Because I don't want them to think I'm hurting myself even more by having to resist being with her. I'll never see her again anyways. Something tells me she won't be back. "You don't mean that, Daniel." Maya spoke, glaring at me with her piercing hazel eyes, turning a mean shade of light green, like they do when she's angry. I glared back, "Yes, I do. I'm done with her. She shouldn't have left."

Christina eyes stared coldly onto me, "Daniel, she was broken. Hell. Probably still is! She just lost her mother and her brother all in one week. No, one day!" she argued, clearly, she was stating the obvious but I still had no reaction.