My Fight

Thoughts For Today

Today I got my college books for this fall semester. I am pretty excited! I am doing all online classes and I have never done online classes so I am nervous but excited.

My pain is pretty bad today but I am proud of myself for getting dressed and going out in town aways! Go me!

Last night was pretty horrible. My Mom, Dad, and sister were all fighting about my sister wanting to be called Ash and have boy pronouns. It did not go well. Right now my sister is struggling with being depressed so becoming a boy when you are depressed is not a good idea. Honestly even if she wasn't depressed my parents won't go for the idea of her being transgender. She has always been a girly girl and just these past year she has changed.

I just hope that night goes well because my Dad is out of town and something always goes wrong when my Dad goes out of town. Like someone falls apart but I won't be that person.

I am just tired everyone fighting and it being stressful at home. I just want put on pj's and relax.

Update:

Now it's night time and this afternoon there was a HUGE argument. It was horrible. Now I just feel exhausted and drained. My pain is killing me, no one is getting along, tomorrow I have an appointment with a pain doctor which I am nervous about, and I having dinner with a friend from church.

I don't know how I am going to have an appointment tomorrow and go to dinner with my friend. I will be exhausted and hurting. Even though I am already exhausted and hurting.

I am so tired of hurting. I just want to be pain free and normal. I want to be able to get out of a chair and not want to cry. I want to cry right now but I can't. I have to be strong even though I feel weak. I can't take this pain much longer. I fear I am losing my mind. But everyone in my family is already losing their minds, why not me?

I am just tired of everything.

Those are my thoughts for today.

-Harper❤️