Ask Me ..... How i know there's a God up in the heavens!

Chapter 19 - Dreamer of Dreams

Music, I hear music! I said to myself as I stood at my parents front door and listened to the beginning of a song I knew I recognized, but couldn't place. The tune must be coming from inside the house? I tell myself as I walk through the door.

"When I think of those east-end lights." Elton John begins to sing. "Muggy nights," I peer around the house. "Curtains drawn in the little room down stairs," I stand next to someone in the partition between the living room and dining room. "Prima Donna Lord you really should have been there," I glance over at Jesus. "Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair," We are watching my mother. "And it's one more beer and I don't hear you any more." She sits with a dozen or so cans on the bar that serves as a kitchen dining table. "We've all gone crazy lately." A little girl comes running up from the cellar. "Your (friends) downstairs rolling round the basement floor." Oh my God, it's me! I gasp as she goes running by us.

"And someone saved my life tonight sugar bear." I scream as I grab Jesus's arm and sink to the floor. "You almost had your hooks in me, didn't ya dear?" He takes hold of my hand as I'm sitting in shock, propped up against His leg. "You nearly had me roped and tied," I start to cry as I watch myself run up the stairs. "Alter-bound, Hypnotized." I struggle to my knees as I try to get up and follow. "Sweet freedom whispered in my ear." But Jesus holds tightly to my hand and won't move. "You're a butterfly." Something comes fluttering down the stairs. "And butterflies are free to fly." It's a Monarch. "Fly away." I watch it. "High away, bye bye." It flutters out the door as Jesus helps me to my feet and I just stare dumbfounded.

"I never realized the passing hours." Someone comes running down the stairs. "Evening showers." Another person follows. "Slip-noose hanging in my darkest dreams." It's me, followed by my sister, but we are adults now. "And strangled by your haunted social scene." I'm wearing my military dress uniform. "Just a pawn out played by a dominating queen." She's screaming, shaking a bloodied dead baby at me. "It's four o'clock in the morning." The ghost of her abortion. "Damn it!" She throws it at me. "Listen to me good." I scream at her as she storms out of the house. "I'm sleeping with myself tonight" I scoop up the lifeless child. "Saved in time." I cry. "Thank God my music's still alive."

"And someone saved my life tonight sugar bear." I hide my face in Jesus's sleeve. "You almost had your hooks in me, didn't ya dear?" I'm sorry I couldn't stop her. "You nearly had me roped and tied." I cry as I watch this tiny body disintegrate into the air. "Alter bound. Hypnotized." I look at Jesus. "Sweet freedom whispered in my ear." I hear fluttering. "You're a butterfly." Hundreds of Monarchs come down the stairs. "And butterflies are fee to fly." Look. I poke Jesus. "Fly away." They all flutter out the door too. "High away, bye bye." I chase them outside.

"And I would have walked head on, to the deep end of the river." I stop short behind another figure I recognize as myself dressed in desert camo BDU's "Clinging to your stocks and bonds," We are standing on the edge of a high bridge over a bay. "Paying your HP demands for ever." I scream and cover my eyes. "Coming in the morning with a truck to take me home." I hear nothing.