My Dear Butler

35. First Love

"Are you... alright?" Yesung managed, his heavy breaths resonating throughout the room.

"I should be asking you that! You're so stupid for doing that, oh my god—" Your voice wavered as you spoke, and once again, you felt tears in the back of your eyes. Your breaths began to hitch in your throat as you tried to suppress them, covering your mouth with your hands.

"Don't cry," Yesung whispered. "I'm perfectly fine."

Your head whipped up at his comment. "I-I'm not crying...!"

"My lady, I've known you long enough to recognize those sobs anywhere. They're also exceptionally loud in this room," he explained. You immediately tried to wipe your tears away, sniffling.

"God, do I really cry that much?" You laughed, your eyes still tearful.

"Hmhm, yes you do."

"Can you move at all?" You could now vaguely make out his shape as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, and you saw his head bob up and down ever so slightly.

"Yes."

"It's your back right? Does it—"

"No, I landed on my side. Don't worry about me, I told you I'm fine..." he hissed in pain as he tried to sit up, murmuring curses as he did so.

"D-don't force yourself," you reached for him, your fingers accidentally brushing his cheek. Yesung finds your hand and holds it there, and you felt your face flush at the contact. 

"Sorry," he mutters quickly as he lets go. 

The both of you sit in silence, your breaths and heartbeats being the only sounds you can hear. You struggled to stand and maybe find a way out, but that was nearly impossible in this pitch-black room. Unable to think of a solution, you exhaled frustratedly and sat back down. 

After all, Leeteuk did say he was going to visit sooner or later. That bastard. 

Even so, you were still restless. How long were you going to be trapped down here? When was he going to come? Would he actually come? 

Your mind began to whirl with all these questions, your paranoia becoming worse and worse with each passing minute. 

"Yesung?" You whispered mindlessly. "Are you there?"

"Hm? I'm here." 

His voice reassured you, and you felt your heartbeat slow significantly. You gaped awkwardly as you frantically searched your mind for something to say, absolutely anything.

Anything to hear his voice, so you wouldn't feel so alone. 

As long as you knew he was here, everything would be alright. 

"D-Do you remember how you got that name?" 

Yesung took a moment to process your words before nodding. "Yes, why?" 

"Uh-" Your mind went blank, and you began to panic as your face began to warm in embarrassment.

"The song that you sang that night... i-it was nice," you managed. "Does it have a title?"

Yesung blinked as his mind buffered, struggling to remember the name of the tune.

"It does, but I don't remember."

"Oh." You pressed your lips into a firm line. "How did you learn it then?"

"My first love had sung it to me, long, long ago."

Your eyes widened. "First love?"

Yesung swallowed as he sighed, his breathing wavering as he felt himself choking up. Draping an arm over his eyes, it took all his might to not let his tears fall.

"Yes. First love. Of course, it wasn't for me— her heart was never mine."

Your eyes softened in pity as you continued to listen, your heart hurting for him.

"She was an unfaithful one, and that's probably why her previous lover had left her... then she came to me, and poured her heartbreak into that song."

Biting your lip, you carefully chose your words.

"Then what happened? She left you?"

"No. Rather, it was the other way around." Yesung paused as his voice began to crack at the memory.

"Being the idiot I was, and probably still am, I gave her my all. I loved her with everything I had, gave her everything she wanted, but I was so blinded by her fake smiles and laughter to realize that she never truly loved me the same way. I was just a shoulder for her to cry on."

"And when I did, I had the audacity to feel heartbroken."

"Seeing that I could so easily be replaced anyway, I left. She didn't care, didn't bat an eye."

You were silent as you listened to his shuddering breaths, not knowing how to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry..." was all you can mutter.

Exhaling and wiping away his tears, he managed a chuckle. "Seriously, looking back at it now... it's honestly embarrassing. How does someone just hand their heart out, believing that they'll do the same?"

"Love always seems to be against me. Perhaps I should just give up on it."