I do love you // Jungkook x depressed! reader

Epilouge

    "Eomma, why do you have those scars?" He asked as we walked along the park. Our song, Jaejin, was going into fifth grade now. I looked down at my forearm to see my scars. I frowned lightly thinking of my past.
    "It was from a long time ago. I didn't like myself," I said, refusing to give too much information. I refused to tell our son about my past. Maybe one day, but today I couldn't even imagine telling the ten year old about my abuse and how I would cut myself.
    "But you like yourself now, don't you Eomma. I like you," he said, tugging on the hem of my shirt. I smiled and hummed, ruffling his hair. I looked around the park to see the browning leaves. Jungkook and I's anniversary was in a week.
    "How about we go to that coffee shop that's down the street from the park, hm?" I asked, booping his nose. He shouted a yes as an answer and dragged me to the coffee shop. When we got inside, we ordered a slice of strawberry cake for him and a mocha for me.
    "Eomma, will I ever have a sister or brother. I wanna be an oppa," he said in a whiny voice. I held my breath at his question and looked away.
    A year after Jaejin was born, Jungkook wanted another kid so we tried again. And again. It always ended up as a miscarriage. After the third one, I couldn't bring myself to try again. It made me feel as if I had failed Jungkook, not being able to produce another kid. He told me it wasn't my fault, but I blamed myself. I was still afraid to try again.
    "I don't know Jaejin. Maybe, maybe not," I said, trying to keep my voice level. Today I had woken up by Jaejin crying. He missed Jungkook since Jungkook had been gone for almost six months now. I took him to the park to calm him down and it seemed to be working.
    We finished our orders and walked around the shops, staring at the expensive clothes and jewelry that lined the shops' windows. "You'd look pretty in this one, Eomma!" He shouted, showing me a pretty gold gown that looked like it belonged to a ball. I smiled.
"Shall I try it on?" I asked, jokingly. When he nodded we walked in and grabbed the dress, heading to the changing room. Jaejin waited outside until I walked out, twirling.
"Eomma! You look like a idol!" He said excitedly.
"An idol," I corrected him. He just ignored me and hugged my waist.
"I miss Appa," he whispered.
"Me too, baby. Me too."
Jungkook was working on producing music in America for the time being and I still don't know when he'd be back. Jaejin really missed him, but I missed him more than anything. I missed the way that he praised me every night, even when I wore sweatpants and had messy hair. He told me I was a goddess in his eyes.
As we walked home, Jaejin clung to me, not wanting to let go as if I could disappear. We walked in the front door and heard the sizzle of food being cooked and some humming. Jaejin stared at me in fear as I stood in confusion. Who the hell breaks into a house just to cook?
We slowly crept into the kitchen where a familiar form stood, cooking a large meal. "Appa!" Jaejin shouted, startling the man. Jungkook turned and smiled. "Jaejin!" He shouted back, taking the food off the stove and running up to him. He threw Jaejin in the air and caught him repeatedly as Jaejin screamed in delight.
Before I could help myself, tears slipped down my cheeks. The two most important boys in my life, together in the kitchen. Jungkook turned to me and smiled his adorable bunny smile. "God I love you," I whispered before running into his arms. He chuckled and held me close.
We all went swimming in our pool after that. I wore the swimsuit Jungkook got me years ago. He looked at me with the same look he gave me eleven years and nine months ago before Jaejin. I giggled and jumped in the pool, feeling like I was twenty. Jaejin swam excitedly as Jungkook dove in, swimming after him.
Afterwards we all ate on the pool deck, pointing out stars. Jaejin clung to Jungkook, refusing to let go. "Can Appa sleep with me tonight?"
"I don't know buddy. My and your mom have got some catching up to do."

Okay wow that took me a month to complete. You have no idea I had around three drafts all of which sucked and I feel like this sucked too but I didn't want to leave you all hanging, so... hear we are an eternity later. Thank you so much for reading, I love you all so much! Make sure to follow me if you want to read more of my things, or just read my other story Jump // Taehyung x depressed reader. Thank you again!