Can You Mend The Broken ✔️

Chapter 1

Drowning in endless tears. I can't seem to escape from the darkness that holds me. I want to leave but I can't. Seeing the light on the other end but never in reach. Listening to my pain is like a melody screaming to be heard. Seeing others smile and mean it makes me jealous. I wish I could escape the dark void I'm in. I force smiles and people believe. It's sad to know no one cares. Cuts never seem to bring enough pain. I don't want to end it here but I don't have a purpose. My blade is my friend...my only friend. I don't trust anyone, not even myself. Seeing as trust can break me more. Is there a lifeboat somewhere near. I want to escape the dark, deep void of the ocean. Please...someone, save me.

I jumped when someone tapped my shoulder. I looked back and saw some random girl looking back at me. 

"Y/N, right?" she said, glancing at my notebook. 

"Y-Yes..." I said, not catching her looking at my notebook. 

"Whatcha writing?" she asked.

"M-my feelings..."

"They seem sad...do you have depression?"

"No. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I am fine, ok? Now if this is all you're gonna do, leave."

"Geeze..." she muttered before walking away.

It was hard to resist the urge to grab my blade and rush to the bathroom. But, no one knows. He doesn't know. I'm alone. I've isolated myself on this tiny island of fear, self-hate, and sadness. I can't breathe sometimes and no one sees it. Now I couldn't stand it and stood up. I walked up to the teachers' desk and he looked at me. 

"May I use the bathroom?" I asked.

"Make it quick," Mr. Nan said, dismissing me.

"Thank you," I said before walking off.

I walked down the halls, getting a few looks from people. I was too busy looking at everyone's judging look I didn't realize Yoongi had turned the corner. I bumped into him and he quickly grabbed my wrist to catch me. I winced and he looked at me with both confusion and worry. 

"Is everything ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I winced because I stepped on my own foot," I lied.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom."

"Oh then I don't want to keep you waiting," he said before smiling and walking away.

I sighed in relief and walked quicker to the bathroom. Once I was there I looked around me before taking out my blade from my back pocket. I turned on the water and put my wrist under the cold as ice water. I carefully dragged the blade across my wrist, leaving a thin but deep cut. I bit my lip, holding back the pain. I did this once more but the second one wasn't as deep. The blood that welled from the two cuts was immediately washed away by the water.

I felt a single tear slip from my eyes and took my hand that wasn't injured and wiped it away. I made sure that the cuts were clean before wrapping them in paper towel. I, now, just carry around tape to keep the paper towel closed. I quickly tapped it shut and put the blade in my back pocket. I began walking back to my class and entered quietly. Mr. Nan looked up at me and sighed before looking down at the book he was reading. 

I sat down and looked at the people around me. Study hall was the most boring class in high school. I was kind of glad this was my last year here. My last year of having to sneak off to kill the urge inside telling me to pick up the blade. I didn't notice that Mr. Nan was no longer at his desk reading until I heard the familiar, deep, raspy voice that belonged to him.

"You shouldn't cut," he whispered.

My blood turned cold hearing those words, "I don't know what you mean."

"Show me your wrist,"

I carefully pulled up the sleeve on my right arm and showed him. "See, nothing."

"Alright, let me see the other wrist,"

I gulped but did as told. When I pulled up the sleeve I looked at the paper towel. Red had started seeping through the thin mateiral and sighed.

"I told you that you shouldn't cut and you denied it. Why?"

"Because you're the only one that knows now..."

"You're telling me Yoongi doesn't know?"

"Y-yes," I whispered, looking down.

"Your only friend doesn't know about this? Why not?"

"Because he'd worry too much,"

"Y/N, just because I'm your teacher doesn't mean I don't care. Seeing any one of my students go through this hurts whether I show it or not,"

"But you don't know Yoongi..."

"Yes I do. I know each and every one of my students,"

"You don't know him as well as I do,"

"What is depression like," he asked out of the blue.

"Depression is like drowning expect you can see everyone around you breathing," I answered.

"Is that how you feel?"

"Most times, yes,"

"Then tell Yoongi,"

"No..."

"Then you aren't drowning. Yoongi is your lifeboat and you refuse to grab ahold of it,"

"Yoongi is the lifeboat where if one thing goes wrong, back I go into the deep, dark void of the ocean,"

"Do you want that?"

"Want what?"

"To drown in the ocean?"

"No...I can't bring myself to commit suicide..."

"Why not?"

"I don't know..."

"There's something giving just a little light to your darkness, that's why,"

"What is giving the light?"

"Yoongi,"