Can You Mend The Broken ✔️

Chapter 13

The words slipped from my lips and I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I finally said it. I finally told Yoongi I loved him.

A smiled spread across Yoongi's face like the ocean lapping at the sandy bay.

"You said it. You actually said it," Yoongi whispered before hugging me.

I nodded, smiling a lot. He knew that I loved him. I knew I loved him. I hugged him tighter, not wanting to let go now, "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."

"It's fine. As long as you say it, I'm fine," Yoongi whispered and I smiled more.

Knowing he actually loved me made me feel needed.

"Why weren't you at our classes?" 

The question hit me like a bee stinging someone, "Oh, well, I couldn't exactly go to the same college as you if I wanted you to think I was dead."

"You wanted me to think you were dead?! Why?!"

"Because when you said you loved me, I didn't know what to do. The only person who I've allowed to say I love you to me after what happened with Ki-Young was Kyung-Seok. So, I panicked. I wanted to reply but I didn't know how. So, I rented a room in an apartment and while I was there...I cut. Again..."

"Y/N..."

"I know. I'm stupid. I shouldn't have-"

I was cut off by Yoongi pressing his lips against mine. I instinctively kissed him back but pulled away after a second.

A question sparked in my mind: what are we? "What are we?"

Yoongi looked at me, puzzled, "What do you mean?"

I asked again, "What are we?"

"What do you want to be?"

"I-I don't know."

"I want to be with you."

Him saying that made me realize something. I was still scared. I shook my head.

"What?"

"No...No, I can't be with you."

"What? Why not?"

"B-Because I can't, ok?"

"Oh my god Y/N! Make up your mind! First, you say you love me and now you're saying we can't be together! Don't do this to me!"

"Yoongi I'm-"

"Save it! I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses, ok? You keep lying and I can't take it! Don't talk to me. Don't text me. Don't even look at me. Your excuses are the worst excuses I have ever heard and I can't take it. Stop hurting me and just leave me alone!"

And with that, he walked out, slamming the door. Tears streamed from my eyes. 

He didn't deserve this yet I still hurt him.

I cried quietly as I forced myself to not go looking for a blade. I walked to my room and shut the door. I looked out the window at the setting sun. I walked to my bed and crawled onto it. I pulled the blanket up to my neck. 

Even though the blanket had kept me warm on the coldest nights, I felt freezing cold. I couldn't become warm and I don't know why.

After a while of freezing, my eyes went from seeing the inky black room to seeing the darkness of my closed eyes.

I woke up after what felt like a second. Light was pouring in through the window. I groaned and the memory of last night hit the front of my mind. I groaned again and sat up.