Can You Mend The Broken ✔️

Chapter 7

I don't love Min Yoongi.

That thought stuck in my head like glue. I didn't love him. I don't now and I don't think I ever will. 

"Y/N?"

I shook my head and looked back at Tae-Won, "Yeah?"

"You ok? You seem shocked,"

"Yeah...I just said that I don't love Min Yoongi. I shocked myself,"

"Ahh....well, do you like anyone?"

"I don't think so.....I mean, I liked someone,"

"Who'd you like?"

"What grade are we talking about?"

"Elementary,"

"In elementary I liked you,"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I made it obvious. Didn't you hear people saying 'Y/N likes Tae-Won'?"

"Nope,"

"Oh. Well, do you like anyone?"

"Sort of. I guess the feeling from high school came back,"

"Oh, who do you like?"

"Kyung-Hee,"

"You like her?!"

"Yeah, why?"

"She's the one who gave me depression!" I slapped my hand over my mouth quickly.

"Y-you have depression?"

"No- I didn't mean that,"

He didn't say anything. He looked at my wrist and back up at me. Worry filled his brown eyes and I looked down. I ripped my wrist away but didn't say anything. I winced as I ripped it away. 

"Careful, the cuts are still fresh,"

I looked at him, worry still in his eyes but his voice was steady. 

"I'm sorry,"

He shook his head and sat at the end of the bed. I sighed and looked away.

"Min Yoongi. The popular guy at the college. Seem's cruel and heartless but is very gentle,"

I looked at him again, "What?"

"Min Yoongi is in BTS. The cutest guys in the college apparently,"

I nodded and looked out the window that lit up the room. It was bright and sunny, unlike myself.

"So what are you going to tell him?"

"He needs to think I'm dead. I can't say anything to him,"

"Well, tomorrow you're being released. What happens if you run into him at the store?"

"I haven't thought of that..."

"I could do your shopping for you until it's been a good year or two,"

"No....I'm not going to have you get my stuff for me,"

"But I like your ex-best friend. I'll repay you with this. Just please let me help you,"

I sighed, giving in. I nodded and leaned my head back onto the soft pillow. I stared at the white ceiling, bored out of my mind. I'd be here until tomorrow but I have nothing to do.

"Could we watch a movie," I asked.

"Yeah, which movie?" Tae-Won said, nodding.

"Train to Busan. It's been forever," 

"Alright, I'll put it on," He said, taking the remote from the side table. He went to Netflix and searched 'Train to Busan' and scrolled through the options. Once he found it he put it on and sat on a chair so he didn't block the tv. 

"Thank you," I said and he smiled in reply. I watched the tv, my interest in the movie sparking again. I remember watching this when it first came out. I was horrified the first time and I had cried a lot.

I heard a buzz and jumped. I looked around and saw my phone. Thank the lord. I grabbed it and saw another text from Yoongi.

Yoongi: You will never see this message. But, I want you to know that I love you. I've loved you for a long time. When we accidentally kissed I didn't know what I felt. I felt happy but I was scared that you didn't feel the same. I never got to say the words I love you. I never get to say I do to you. I never get the chance of having a family with you. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am. But, I was happy with the time that I got with you.

I began crying while reading this. Tae-Won looked over and jumped up. He rushed over to me and looked at my phone. He hugged me and let me cry. He honestly thought I was gone. I needed him to believe this. I needed to end his suffering. I needed to put the thought of me being dead at rest. 

I didn't want to cause him pain but I had to. I had to keep myself safe from heartbreak again. Ki-Young had said that he loved me so much that he wanted to marry me. I let him have my virginity. I basically devoted my life to him and he left. He began saying things about me and I couldn't take it. That's when I started cutting.

Flashback

I walked down the halls, still feeling sore from last night. I have given myself to him. But, I was still smiling. It was the beginning of college so I could do whatever I wanted. Except for drinking. I walked down the halls and bumped into someone. 

"Sorry," I said, bowing, before walking away.

I turned the corner and stopped. What was in front of me I could never unsee. Ki-Youngs hands on Kyung-Hee's waist, her hands in his hair and her lips on his. 

I dropped my stuff and they both turned to look at me.

"Y/N..." they both said at the same time. I began to cry and Kyung-Hee left Ki-Young. She walked over to me and took my hand. I instantly ripped it away. I was crying enough to where everything was blurry. 

"After I let you have my virginity....that's all you want," I whispered and Kyung-Hee's eyes widened.

"I-I'm sorry," she said but I turned away. I began walking away, hand covering my mouth as I cried.

Present

I cried harder at the thought. Yoongi wouldn't have hurt me. But I don't love him. I don't think I will and I don't want to date him just for him.

"Shh," Tae-Won whispered. He tried comforting me but I couldn't take it. Yoongi did the same thing when he found out. Remembering this, I quickly pulled away.

"Y-Yoongi did the same thing w-when he found out about Kyung-Hee and Ki-Young," I said in between sobs. He didn't say anything. He sat down beside me and just put an arm around me. I cried into his shoulder, not being able to help myself.

Suga's POV

I sat at the table, poking my food. 

"Yoongi-Hyung please eat," Taehyung said and I sighed. I wasn't hungry. I wasn't anything. I felt numb. Like, the whole world was collapsing. She will never know how much she means to me. I wanted to at least say goodbye or try to get her to stay with me.

But, she's gone now. 

If there are hello's then there are bound to be goodbyes. Nothing lasts forever. I should've known that she wouldn't stay forever. In her condition, life doesn't last long. The feeling of longing to be next to someone one more time. The regret of saying goodbye. The knowing you won't see them again.

It just rips you apart. It makes you feel like it's your fault. It makes you want to kill yourself because you brought this on yourself. 

You caused this pain.

You tried to fix it.

But in the end...

There was nothing broken because you wouldn't have let her go if something was there.