Can You Mend The Broken ✔️

Chapter 11

(when you see 🎧 play the music)

I looked in the mirror. The black fitted dress making all my curves stand out. The lace the wrapped around my arms, keeping them somewhat protected from the wind that would soon nip at my nose.

Someone knocked and my attention snapped over to the door, "Who is it?"

"Yoongi."

"Ok, come in," I said and the doorknob twisted and there stood Yoongi, in a black suit with a white button-up shirt. He wore black leather shoes and I looked down. My lip quivered, as a tear left my eye. Yoongi rarely dressed up for anything. And now he's dressing up for my brothers funeral.

He walked over to me and put his arms around me. He lifted my chin and wiped the tear away and whispered, "We aren't even at the funeral yet."

"I know," I whispered and sniffled. "Let's go. It starts in ten minutes," I continued and he walked out of the house with me. We got in the car and drove to the church. The ride was silent as Yoongi allowed my grief to hit me again like a wave.

Once we got to the church, I saw Tae-Won and another male and female. My parents. They came. After leaving. They meant nothing to us. Why are they here? At this point, my heart was too weighed down with grief for me to care. I was just glad they just came and didn't bring my stepmothers.

I walked up to them, the black wedge shoes I was wear hitting the ground with light taps. I hugged them and they hugged me. It was like we never split. Yoongi walked up behind us, his hands in his pockets. I pulled away, another tear rolling down my pale cheek.

Yoongi put his hand on the small of my back, and I bowed to my parents before walking inside with Yoongi. I looked at Yoongi as we entered. 

"I'll have to leave to go prepare a speech for today," I said and he nodded. He was awful quiet and I wondered why. We walked up to the front and I saw Jin-Hee, Kyung-Seok's girlfriend. Well, now ex-girlfriend.

I sat down next to her and she looked at me, "I'm sorry for your loss."

I shook my head, "our loss," I corrected. Her eyes watered and she smiled forcefully. I held her hand and a few tears fell from her crystal blue eyes. She didn't like having brown eyes so she wore colored contacts. I stood back up and walked back down the aisle. 

After everyone was seated, Tae-Won sitting behind Yoongi. I knew that he couldn't speak in front of us without blaming himself.

(🎧)"Today we gather to say goodbye to Kang Kyung-Seok, a very loved man. His sister is here today to speak to you all," the preacher said before stepping away. I stood up and made my way to the dark brown wooden podium.

I didn't need notecards. I had it memorized like the back of my hand.

"Today we gather to say our final goodbyes to my dear brother. A death that wasn't deserved nor needed. We share the same blood. Been through the worst but made it through. And it's because we had each other. We promised we wouldn't leave each other but, look where we are now. I wanted him to be there with me when I got married. When I gave up the last name 'Kang'. Through sickness and health. Not just used for weddings. It's used for family. We are there for each other when called. I know that if I ever needed him, he'd be there. I love him...very much," my voice cracked as tears left my eyes. "But, we all say goodbye. Nothing lasts forever. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. He was holding my hand when I took my first. I'm here at his funeral, saying goodbye. He never got to say goodbye. We met the same way we parted. My dear brother will never be forgotten. A soul as pure as pure can get. We love him. Always," I finished up, my voice cracking many more times. 

I started to cry more and I covered my mouth. I wrapped my other arm around my stomach and walked to the front row. I sat down and instantly felt arms around me. The familiar deep, manly scent drifted up to my nose and I knew it was Yoongi. I cried as the preacher continued talking.

Silent sobs left my body, shaking it every time.

"Let's go get air," Yoongi whispered. I nodded and we stood up. He kept his arm wrapped around me as I hid my face in my hands. No one questioned us as we left the building. I walked over to a bench and sat down. Yoongi sat down next to me and rubbed my back comfortingly.

I took deep breaths as I tried to stop myself from crying. I wanted different pain. I needed different pain. "Where is it," I murmured as I checked the two pockets the dress had.

Yoongi looked at me, "Where is what?"

I answered without thinking, "My blade."

"Y/N, no."

"Please."

"No. You almost died. Do you not remember that?"

I don't know what came over me but when he said that, all I thought of was the text. He said he loved me.

"I-I do remember it. But you could watch me and make sure the cuts aren't deep."

"Watch you hurt yourself? Never in a million years."

"But I need this."

"No. I can't have you dead."

I sighed in defeat. I knew he had my blade. He had taken it when I was crying inside. I cried more, remembering what Kyung-Seok had said to me two months ago: We will grow old together. I promise.

"Why didn't you keep your promise," I voiced out through the tears.

"What promise?"

"Kyung-Seok...he promised me we would grow old together."

Yoongi didn't say anything. I felt something hit my shoulder and looked over. 

Yoongi.

was. 

Crying.

"Don't go. Please don't go. I can't go on with you gone. I promise I'll stay by your side. I can't do it. Please," he cried softly and my heart broke.

His words replayed in my head. The need for me to live. The need for me to stay with him. 

He needed me more than I thought he did. He wanted me more than I thought he would. I caused him to cry. I feel horrible now.

I lifted his head and looked into his now crystal brown eyes. His eyes were red now and I felt even more guilty. I wanted to say the three simple words he had texted me. But they wouldn't form. Instead, three other words came out.

"I. Am. Sorry."