Perfectly Scarred

The Threat

I can still remember the man's scream and the image of his fresh bloody F wound on the temple of his head. It's still clear in my memory.

I can't do it, It's like every courage in my body has been drained and I feel hopeless. I have to do everything not to be branded as Failure.

Jessica tells me that Lalisa volunteered to carry me back inside the cell.

"Yeah, she doesn't want other people to touch you, she said that, what you saw earlier in the chamber room, made you passed out. She was so worried about you."

"I just happened to hear the most terrifying scream that I ever heard in my entire life. I had a panic attack."

"It's okay. You'll be okay, Roseanne."

Well, I have to thank Lalisa, she may look like she's the most unapproachable person but she still help me anyway. I look at her and she's sleeping peacefully. She's facing me and I wonder how does it feel like to touch and trace every detail of her perfect baby face. But then I feel sad knowing that this will be the last time I will see her, I will go back home tomorrow and after my trial, they will release me. I hope I see her someday.

An hour and a half later, I stand at the gigantic wooden doors of the court. I've seen it from the daily news, seeing people walk back and forth, giving the public and the media to see the accused and vent out their feelings.

Jessica and Billy hold me, I take a deep breath and as the door opens. The first thing I see is a carrot that flies directly to my face. Boos, curses and hisses fill my ears and my head. I walk continuously even though I want to cry. For a moment, I feel my mom's hesitancy but then she strides her longs legs as if she's on a catwalk. I follow her lead and try my best to dodge the flour, eggs, paints, and spit that are flying towards me.

Ms. Bennett is giving me orders through her big smile: Smile, Roseanne. Smile, chin up, don't ever look like guilty. And so I did.
I move my body closer to my mom and take a quick look at her, she's holding my dad's arm, heads up, her face completely serene.

The cameras are in my face and the flashes are blinding. I hear some questions but I can't answer. All I have to do is to lie.

"Are you a failure, Roseanne?"
"Did you really help the old woman?"
"Do you believe that the Society will give you a fair trial?"
"Is it true that you are having a special treatment in your holding cell? As you are the niece of Judge Kim?"
"Is it true that you got a nose job?"
"What's your opinion about the Society's law about the branding? Are you in favor of it?"

They do really need to invade our privacy? I can't seem to focus, I think about Lalisa, who returned yesterday with paint on her T-shirt and eggs on her hair. I understand why now. We are shown to the rest of the world as a mirror of their worst nightmares, scapegoats for all the wrong in ther lives.

Cameras in my face, jeering, catcalls and whistkes. I quickly search the faces in the crowd, they are the normal faces that I see everyday except it is full of hate and loathing. One woman gives me a nod. It is respectful and I'm so thankful for that.

And then we are inside.

"People need a lot of convincing of our story. I never saw them this wild" Ms. Bennett says as she folds her sleeves, still looking stunned

3 judges in a bloodred robes sit at the head if the room. The majority of the room is filled with rows of chairs. At the back, people are crushed and standing. At first, I assumed that they are the press but on the closer inspection, they have visible marks, a sign that they are all Failures.

I sit at my table beside Ms. Bennett. Mom and dad sit in the front row beside me. no sign of Jisoo, which breaks my heart. I see my grandpa, he tips his at and I almost weep.

Aunt Dahee asked me to stand.

"Roseanne Park." She begins. " You stand before me accused of being a Failure citizen of this country, for acting on an error of judgment, and as a result will face a removal from regular society. Do you deny or accept the accusation?

"Deny" my voice sounds tiny in this big crowded room, I'm glad that it is over and it's all that I have to say. My legs are shaking and I feel like I'm going to crumple.

"Very well. We hear your plea but we have to listen also to the witnesses of the event that happened and to the one who will speak about your character tomorrow. Based on that, we will announce our findings. You may leave now, go to your home and return to us here tom-"

"Hold on for a second, Judge Kim." Judge Fuentes interrupts " I and Judge Ramirez, would like to put forward the motion that Ms. Park will remain in out holding cell until the trial is over."

My aunt looks surprised to hear this. I bet she didn't saw it coming, me too.

"We're just concerned about her, due to the status of Ms. Park, and the attention garnered, I think it is best if she would stay here, we don't want her to be used by the people who are rallying, more so to the other parties with their campaigns."

"This is the first time that happened." My aunts says angrily. " I oppose the idea. We only detain the accused if they pose a threat or risk of running, and My niece, Roseanne is clearly not a threat."

"Indeed, Judge Kim. But given the attention to her, we would like to prevent the Failures' rally."

"But what if she stays in her home and speaks to no one? If that's what you're worrying about."

"No. It is in the best interest of the Society and the accused confine if this case is just within the walls of Seoul Citadel."

"We need to discuss it further. This is not somet-" Aunt Dahee says in an authoritative voice.

"I propose it now." Judge Fuentes says coolly.

"And I favor it." Judge Ramirez raise her hand in agreement.

"And I oppose it" Aunt Dahee says, perplexed. "She is just a child."

"She will be eighteen in three months. Do you want people to think that you are giving her a special treatment, given that she is your niece? I know you don't want to tarnish your name, Judge Kim. And besides, Another detainee is in the same cell as her too. She should be fine."

Aunt Dahee is speechless.

"And so it is passed, Roseanne Park will return to her holding cell dor the duration if her trial. And as for the girl beside her cell, her trial will be moved after Ms. Park's trial, I know that girl would not be happy about this."

I saw my aunt's worried face.

"She can't stay there with that bastard. My niece doesnmt deserve to be there"

"Language, Judge Kim. Your niece done something that is against the law. She deserves it." Judge Fuentes bangs the gavel against the block, a sign that her petition is passed.

The room errupts and Ms. Bennett stares at my aunt in a stunned silence.

"How can this happen?" Mom says asking Ms. Bennett, who is so out of this world. Mom grabs her collar. "How could you let this happen?"

"There's something going in." Ms. Bennett says to herself.

She looks at me, I see pity in her eyes, and that from her, scares me.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Park. It appears that Judge Kim's enemies have decided to use you as their pawn in their game, too."