Perfectly Scarred

Where To?

She's here. She's here just when I needed her the most. I feel my tears slipping away.

I feel nervous, happy at being reunited with Lisa. Finally something is going my way.

My birthday wish came true

I didn't say anything. Everything that happened today was overwhelming for me, I let my eyes speak my emotions.

I do not have to say anything. Lisa once again covers me with her warm embrace and I feel safe.

I broke down, all the pent up emotions that I was feeling a while ago, escaped.

"I'm sorry I scared you, I was so worried about you. I thou-"

I cut her off. "I thought so, too. I thought it will be the end of me"

She kissed the top of my head and I feel like melting.

I bite my lip to hide my smile as we walk single file back to the farm house; now is not a time for smiling, though they couldn't possibly understand my relief.

And then I realized someone that I know is here, too.

"Jennie?"

"Wassup! The one and only" she flashed her gummy smile.

"How's my sister? Do you still talk to each other?"

"Jisoo's fine. But, she's hella worried about you. Talked to her  two weeks ago, She asked me to find Lisa and to make sure you are okay, so here I am. Besides, it's a privelege to protect The One" she winked at me.

Why is everyone pertaining me as The One? I'm no special.

I gave her a sweet smile.

"Jio, any word from Granddad?" I ask him quietly

"No," he says, turning around briefly so I can catch the worried look on his face. "But Dan is doing everything he can to find out"

I'm skeptical of trusting Dan. His arrangement with Granddad to loosen the reins on the Failure workers was based on feeding his alcohol addiction through gifts from Granddad's home whiskey distillery rather than common decency.

"You'll let me know when you hear something?" I ask Jio

"You'll be the first to know"

"You'll make sure that Granddad knows that I'm safe?"

Dan never knew I was here at the farmhouse-their arrangement was never that sweet- and so he can't possibly relay the message to Granddad that I'm alive.

Maybe the Whistleblower is the last possible move, regardless of whether she let me go or not. I reach out to grab Jio's, and my hand grips his Failure armband.

"Jio, can you contact my family? Tell them Granddad's at the castle? Tell my parents that I'm okay?"

"They already know he's at the castle, Roseanne, but it's too risky to tell them about you over the phone. You know the Society is probably listening in on the phone lines.

Members of the Society aren't super spies, but if Jisoo and I figured out a way to overhear our neighbors' phone conversations through a baby monitor years ago, and a journalist can tap phone, then the Society certainly can.

"You have to find a way to tell them. And you have to tell him I'm okay-"

"Roseanne-"

"No, Jio, listen" I cried and I hear a tremor in my voice. " I cannot have Granddad sitting in cell, or whatever they've put him, thinking that he just burned his Granddaughter alive" my voice cracks. "You need to get a word to him, please, Jio, I'm begging you"
The desperation is evident in my voice

Lisa suddenly holds my hand gently.

"We'll find a way, Rosie." She reassures me.

Jio finally understands. He softens. "Of course. We'll find a way to tell him"

I let go of his arm.

"He'll be okay, Roseanne, you know he's made of tough stuff" Jio adds "If anything, they'll want to let him go quickly, before he conspiracy theories them to death"

I smile weakly at his attempt at humor and nod my thanks. I try to ignore the tears that are welling, try not to picture the terrible scenarios for Granddad that my mind keeps wanting to create.

Granddad being booed and heckled as he walks across the cobblestoned courtyard of Higand Castle. People looking at him and shouting at him like he's scum, throwing and spitting while he tries to keep his chin up. Granddad locked in cell. Granddad in the branding chamber. Being put through all the things that happened to me.

When it's yourself you can take it, when it's happening to the people you love, it can break you.

What Dahee did to me was rare, at least I think it was; it was a moment if stress, of her utter loss of control. All I can do is hope that he won't treat Granddad as he's treated me.

We walk back to the Jeep they parked at the farmhouse. There is no time catching up on old times; I sense that they are anxious to get back to safety. It's after 11:00 pm, we're all Failures and should be indoors except for Jennie.

Two of us are "deviants" who have disobeyed the Society.

I have time to very quickly gather some of my things from the house, the small amount of clothes Granddad managed to successfully retrieve from Mom on a recent visit to her, the longest day of my life when he left me at the farm alone.

It's not much, a small backpack, and I suppose it's all I need, but I think of all my clothes in my wardrobe at home, each otem that meant so much to me, every one a part of me, a way of expressing who I was. I'm stripped of those now, realize I have nothing but my own words and actions to truly show who I am.

We say good-bye to Jio, he wishes us luck and hug me, assuring me that he'll contact Granddad.

Lisa holds the door open for me. Our eyes meet and my heart pounds.

"We need to see that cut" she says, focusing on my forehead, the small wound from where I slammed into a branch moments ago. With the surge of adrenine I didn't feel the pain, but now I feel it sting in the breeze.

As Lisa studies my forehead, I'm able to take in her face. This is the closest I've ever been to her, in the flesh; every other time was behind the glass, knocked out when I was attacked by my classmates or when I was comatose after the supermarket riot.

It's like I know her so well, and yet we're perfect strangers at the same time.

Feeling flustered, I step into the Jeep and bang the top of my head on the door frame.

"Oops, I saw that!" Jennie teased.

"I'm okay" I mumble as I saw Lisa's concerned face,  hiding my flushed face in the darkness of the Jeep.

Lisa drives and I sit behind her, our eyes meeting often in the rearview mirror. Jennie sits beside her in the passenger seat, equally looking strong. Both of them looking like warriors.

"Where are we going?" I finally ask.

Lisa's eyes meet mine in the mirror, she smiles at me and my stomach flips.

"Home"