Perfectly Scarred

The Face of Change?

When I return to the holding cell, Lalisa immediately jumps up, looking surprised to see me as I am back here, she knows that I'll be going home tonight but shit happened. I am dazed and confused too just like her.

Jessica guides me into the cell. Lalisa follows me all the way from the door to my bed. For the first time I got here, she demands my attention as she usually ignores me. Even though this is what I've wanted, to be noticed by her, I can't look at her. She wants an explanation but I'm tired plus I can't tell her the whole story since there's a glass wall that is separating us.

Everybody thought that I'd go home, everybody thought that I'd get away with this since I am the niece of the highest judge. Lalisa thought she knew the rules but the rules have changed and I don't think it is for the best. We're both doomed.

I can't be bothered to give her an explanation because I really don't have one. I feel completely numb. I sit on my bed, staring into space and I can still feel her eyes on me. She stands at the glass, two hands pressed up against it, almost ordering me to look at her. But I don't have the energy, I lie down on my bed and turn my back to Lalisa, and I don't move all night because I don't want them to see me crying. I don't want Lalisa to pity me.

After a night of nightmares, hearing that man in the branding chamber screaming in agony, dreaming of bleeding head, and a bunch of ghoulish failures grabbing me. I wake up feeling exhausted and terrified.

It is the day that I will testify on my own behalf. the day that I will tell my Aunt Dahee's lie. It is the naming day.

At 9am Jessica and Billy come to our cells, and we are guided to the showers. I expect Lalisa to ignore me as she always did most of the day, but she gives me a light nod and a smile. After a while, she secretly handed me a piece of paper. There is something softer behind her eyes. Perhaps, it has something to do that I'm not being sent home yesterday, maybe she knows that I don't have a special kind of treatment in here, I'm also positive that she knows what I did on the grocery store. Maybe she realized that I am not her enemy, that I can be her ally.

I have always felt that she and I are in this together, ever since I saw her walk into the holding cell. Even in all times that I woke up with my nightmares, feeling scared and lost, I looked at Lalisa and immediately I felt oriented and calmer. She is the trigger to calm me, nothing else in the room. I know that this connection seems so intense in such a short period of time, but I feel as though that I'm in a big pressure cooker, and she is the only person in it with me who could possibly understand.

I smile a good morning and she does the same thing, never thought that a person could be so much more angelic when she's smiling. It's like she take my fears and worries away. She holds out her hand to let me walk ahead of her and I feel so self-conscious that Lalisa is behind me, and I'm hoping that we're not going to be taken to another "lesson". Yep, yesterday they purposely sent us in the chamber to witness the branding. That's the worst.

She's taken left and I go right. I remember the note that she gave me and quickly open it

Pretty girl beside my cell,

I don't know why I feel worried about you more so, I don't even know why I wrote a letter. Did you tell them the truth that's why they send you back here? If so, you should know that I'm so proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to tell the right thing in this kind if society that we are living in. I know that you are far different from the people around you, people who always pressure us. Even if i don't know you personally, my heart tells me that you are a good person that's why you saved the old woman on the grocery store even if it means risking your own life. But What happened yesterday took me by surprise I thought you're going home, thought I wouldn't be able to see you. You always give me the brightest smile that's why I know something bad happened when you get back here, even if you don't speak, your eyes are screaming sorrow. I hope you feel better today and don't forget to smile. Goodluck on your naming day.💜