That was a lot to handle in just one chapter, wasn't it? Trust me, I know. I would like to say that it was all just a dream and that none of that was real. I would like to just leave it at that cliffhanger and take you years ahead into the future where everything is okay again.
But I can't do that! Because one thing that I need to say is that when things get tough, it's about being able to pick ourselves back up. It's about carrying on and doing our best to keep calm.
That's why this chapter is called Keep Calm and Carry On! I know that it sounds like one of those memes that your friends might tag you in on Facebook. But as Adam has told me time and time again, there is hidden wisdom behind many of those memes.
So far you have seen me freaking out over so many different situations that would generally make a person want to curl up and die... But, before I tell you just how I reacted, let me first take you back to that grueling moment of Hipster Blues Brother's proposal.
He has just asked those words that make me want to run away in fright. He shows me that chunky-ass ring and every face in the hall is on me, which includes, most importantly the faces of my parents.
They are hopeful that I might have found 'the one' and he is proposing to me right in front of them. Don't forget that this is all happening only hours after I have just learned that my mother has six months to live. Luis does not yet know this news.
Here's what I do...
I stare into those brown eyes of my Hipster Blues Brother of a fake boyfriend and then I glance over at my delicious glass of red wine... I know that it's delicious because my current state of shock has forced me to consume four glasses already.
I shoot back the entire contents of my glass of red in one long mouthful and then I smile over at Luis. I am left with only one option...
"What the hell!" I say loud enough for everybody in the silent hall to hear, "Yes! Of course, I'll marry you!" There it is! His shock proposal and my shocking answer.
At that moment, I do not know if he was aware that I would say 'yes' as the look on his face reveals nothing but bewilderment.
But honestly... I'm done caring!
He places the ring on my finger nervously and now we are both standing up at the table beside my parents.
The entire hall is delivering one very large round of applause and to seal the deal I pull my now fake fiance's face close to mine and leave one hell of a kiss on his lips.
I get that when we laid down the ground rules of our plan we said that PDA would be a 'play-it-by-ear' deal and right now we have no choice on the matter. Besides, I have to give it to him, for a gay guy he sure knows how to kiss!
One of his hands is cupping my cheek while the other is wrapped around my waist. He's even gone with the perfect amount of tongue.
Both my arms are wrapped tightly around his body. Finally, I pull my lips away from his and flash him a large smile as he just stands there with a sheer look of disbelief across his face.
This new elevation of our fake relationship has left a lasting impression on all of the guests, but the enjoyment that it sparks makes it entirely worth it... but unfortunately what comes up will always come down.
As the evening progresses, I lose count of how many glasses of wine that I consume and I notice that my fake fiancé has also taken to drinking his frustrations away. I notice a minor crack in his façade. He patiently excuses himself and steps outside for some fresh air.
Might I add, that right now no amount of alcohol has managed to subdue my misery from the news that my mother is dying? So of course, I follow him outside and into the garden where the air is bitter-sweet and seemingly full of clarity.
