There are extraordinary moments in our lives that change us forever. Big moments that make us the people that we are for the better and for the worse.
Some of those moments might be embarrassing... like the day that I met Luis in the café and barfed in front of him.
Or those moments might be amazing, like the day we had Mia, the day of my wedding, the day that I graduated with my psychology degree or the day that I was asked to become an inspirational speaker for women.
But then... there are also those moments that we wish that we could forget. Those days that shatter our entire worlds and can question our strength down to the very core.
Like the moment that I watched my mother take her last breath, and the moment that I received that gut-wrenching call from Jaime.
"...Nicky... Luis was in an accident..."
Yeah, those are the moments that we wish that we could forget!
This chapter will be the biggest chapter. It will also be my last. You'll understand why when you finish reading.
I will take you precisely three years, four months and eight days from the night that I had Mia which was also the night that Luis proposed to me.
Luis and I were fussing around the house getting ready for work that morning.
I no longer worked at Starbucks. Instead, I had just started a psychology internship. But today, I had been asked to speak at a women's support group at a clinic in New Jersey.
Adam was at the apartment to pick up Mia for daycare and I was fussing over getting her hair to look perfect. Mia was born with her father's dark skin and a full head of curls, so you can imagine my grief with running the brush through it.
"Nicky, you don't use that kind of brush for curls," Adam tells me. "You should have just braided it last night like we talked about."
Luis laughs. "Adam, but that would mean that she would actually have to admit that she needs help. That's not our Nicky," he replies.
"Shut up, the pair of you. I know how to brush my daughter's hair!" I snap at them both.
"Mommy said 'shut up'," Mia says.
They always pick up the bad words, don't they?
"No, baby. Mommy was talking about shutting the door."
Really bad cover up, I know.
I manage to tie her hair into a ponytail and set it with a pretty pink ribbon to match her dress and Adam picks her up with her knapsack.
"I love you, baby," I say as I kiss Mia on the cheek.
"Love you too, mommy," Mia replies.
Before she and Adam can leave, Adam turns to Luis and says: "She's a spitfire this morning, I don't envy you... Love you, Nicky."
"Shut up, Adam!" I call out after him again. I flinch the moment I hear Mia repeat my naughty words before they close the door behind them.
"He's right, though. You are a little touchy this morning," Luis laughs at me.
"No, I'm not! Okay, maybe I am just a little... But I am speaking to a women's support group! I have to be inspiring. I can't do this! I really can't. I'm the last person in the world that they should be asking to do this!"
As I speak, I am racing through the kitchen looking for my phone and my purse and everything else that might be of use.
Luis grabs a hold of both my hands and stops me. "Baby, relax... they asked you because you are an inspiration. You are the perfect person for this. Look at me, you can do this. I believe in you! Now, kiss me!"
