I Like Me Better | to all the boys I've loved before

Buckle up, Buttercup.

That next morning, I had the worst headache I think I've ever had. Peter had brought me Advil, and it eventually went away, but I still felt like a shark had just eaten me alive. We were laying in bed, and his arm was straight up, tracing designs in the air, and his other was tucked under me, pulling me to his chest. 

"Can we be here forever?" He asked. "I mean, really, nothing - not a high-paying job, not a mansion, not no tests for the rest of high school...nothing could make me as happy as I am right now with you," he said, and my heart fluttered so strongly, all I could do is roll over a bit and kiss his chest lightly, snuggling closer to him, and both of us sighed. 

All of a sudden, he sprang up, and pulled me with him, hoisting me up into a piggy-back. I wrapped my legs around him and he ran, me laughing, all the way down into the kitchen, spinning me around and eventually dumping me dramatically onto the couch, then pulling down to kiss me, softly but aggressively. We stayed like that for most of the day, smiling, cuddling, making out, talking.

It was much later, and we were in the kitchen with 'dancing queen' playing very loudly as we spun and danced around the kitchen with Kitty. I was making brownies, and the house smelled amazing, if I do say so myself. When Kitty left to go upstairs for homework, I turned the music down a bit and hopped up onto the counter. Peter kept dancing silly around the kitchen, and he pulled me down and spun me around to the music, kissing my hand or arm, or neck. Finally, when the song ended, I hopped back up onto the counter, my brownies still baking away in the oven.

Suddenly, Peter looked over at me. His hair was in his eyes slightly, and it reminded me of the first night we ever did anything. It was the second year we had gone on the ski trip together.

I was exhausted, and we were sitting in the giant armchairs beside the huge stone fireplace. Everyone else was either in their rooms or out, sneaking over to try and get alcohol. Peter looked over at me and smiled, and said happily, 

"Why don't we go and sit in the hot tub, for memories sake?" He asked, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes, and had gone up to my room to change into my swimsuit, and went out to the hot tubs. The night mountain air was freezing, so I slipped into the hot tub as quickly as I could, Peter across it from me. We spent a moment staring into each other's eyes, enjoying the hot water in the freezing air. Then, I yelped as he pulled me forward, so I was straddling him, and he continued to look at me. 

"God, Covey, I can't stand it." He said, looking at me. I looked curiously at him, and he smiled. "You, Lara Jean, have my heart. All of it. And I can't stand to be apart from you, not even this much." He swooped in and latched onto my lips, pulling and tugging, his hands sliding up and down, roaming my back, I quickly responded, and it was just us. 

No one could tear us apart, and he was all I needed. He got up, standing, and I hissed as the freezing air hit my back. He walked up and out, and  through the lodge door. He quickly dropped me, and we walked calmly but hurriedly up to his room, because he didn't have a roommate. 

As soon as we were out of sight, he picked me back up, and we picked up where we left off, but he kicked the door closed with his foot and pressed me against the wall. And that's all I remember after that, but I remember thinking I had never loved anyone more.

His voice snapped me back to reality. 

"Hey, you know that thing my mom said to you... about lacrosse, did that bother you?" He asked sheepishly. I was honestly surprised he had remembered she said that. It was weeks ago, but it had been on my mind a bit.

"I mean," I felt myself hesitate. I didn't want to make his mom dislike me anymore than she already did, but this was Peter. Fight club, no secrets.

"Ok, fine. A little. But it's fine, we talked about it, and she did kinda have a point..." I trailed off. 

Peter looked over at me, and got a suspicious look on his face. It made him look like he did in the eighth grade, mischievous and boyish, and I wanted so strongly to kiss him right there.

"What if...ok, so what if there were a way for me to do lacrosse and be with you at the same time?" He asked, looking over at me as he washed some bowls. I hopped off the counter and pulled the brownies out, after hearing the annoying buzzer go off.

After cutting them and pushing myself back up onto the counter, I finally replied. 

"Ok, why do I have a suspicion that your next few words are gonna be some crazy plan?" I looked sideways at him. 

"Look, Kenzie just moved." He sated it as if I would instantly understand absolutely everything he was thinking in that moment. 

"That's great? I'm not following here," I replied, confused.

"Babe. She was on the cheer squad. And now there's an open spot," he added, wiggling his eyebrows. I whacked his arm lightly with the rubber spatula. 

"Peter Kavinsky, you are out of your mind if you think I'm going to join the cheer team and actually be a coordinated person," I replied sternly, but lost my train of thought as he slipped forward. He pushed himself between my knees and stood, still towering over me. 

his hands fell to my hips, slowly moving in circles, and he was looking down at me. His head dipped down and buried in my neck, his dark hair tickling my face a bit. I felt his teeth gently grab my skin, and his hands simultaneously tightened. I felt my heart skip a bit as they settled on my hips underneath my shirt.

"But just think," He said, pulling away a bit, "Of all the time we would get to spend together. I mean, that and you'd look smoking in that uniform," He admitted, and I saw the color in his cheeks raise. 

"Should I?" I slowly lifted his head, and he moved so his lips latched onto mine. His hands wrapped behind my back, and he scooted me closer to him, as he kissed me back, saying, "Yes..you damn...well..should.." between kisses. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. Peter's mood dropped from cute and boyish. 
He reached up and grabbed my thighs as he got up and hoisted me above his waist. 

I gently put my hand on his chest as he started to go up the stairs, and pushed him away a little. Looking back, my thoughts were probably a lil clogged by an overload of sexy Peter, but whatever it was, I said yes, and he smiled back, and continued to kiss me, carrying me up into my room, as he murmured little things we loved about me.

-

The next week, I talked to Kate, who got me a uniform. The first game I was performing in was later this week, and everyone was very excited about it. The uniform skirt was tight and short, and the top just barely made it over my stomach, which I was not happy with. Peter saw me at practice a lot, and smiled at me, introducing me to every single one of the friends I hadn't met yet, not noticing,or perhaps just not caring how awkward I was, until the day I lost my shit.

yay!! Please don't come for me, I know this chapters short, I'm so exhausted from school that I just couldn't keep writing. Next one will be longer and will be super fluffy!

 Also do y'all prefer more fluffy or more spicy chapters? Just tell me what y'all want. I need all the help I can get here: I'm drowning in school. I'll get into Lara Jean's Cheer stuff more in the next one, but I wanted to introduce it to yall here.

k, see you in the next one!!

xoxo, Graygray