I Like Me Better | to all the boys I've loved before

Well this is an issue

I froze.
There was my peter, standing in front of me, and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I knew as soon as I did, I would regret it, so I pushed the letter into his hand, and at the moment our hands touched, I looked up and into his sad, hurt eyes.
Every single moment of us came rushing into my brain, and my emotions soared, my heart beating out of my chest, and every moment of him throwing popcorn and pillows at me, of us sitting up into the early hours of the morning, talking and laughing. Of him showing me off to all his friends, and me subtly bragging about him to my friends.
One look at his face told me he was thinking the same thing.
He took the letter, and finally drew in a long, heavy breath.
"Lara Jean...you really shouldn't be here." His voice was tired. I fidgeted and finally replied, "I know. But I can't help it, Peter." He took in a sharp breath as I said his name, and I knew it was killing him. But it was killing me too.
He started to close the door, and I did the stupidest thing I've ever done and stuck my foot in the door. He looked up at me, and I couldn't help but blurt out,
"Why? Why Peter?" I heard my voice crack, and I felt my eyes watering, and his face hardened. He suddenly looked not like my peter, but like a heartless stranger. I hated it.
"You cheated on me. You betrayed me. I thought I was yours, Lara Jean. You told me I was yours and only yours.
But you were his.
Not mine."
His words hurt more than I can ever say, partially because I never thought I'd hear him say them, but also because they were true, but not for him. For me. I hadn't been with Josh for real, but he had been with Gen. I guess I'd never thought about it, but he had no right to be mad at me.
"Yeah," I said, my anger and volume rising now, "You said you were mine, and then went and got with Gen the second I was out of your way." His eyes flamed up and he yelled back, "I saw you and Josh kissing, how can you blame me for cheating?!" He was half way out the door now, and I came up close to him, so our noses were almost touching.
"He kissed me, Peter. I would never kiss him. I'm with you." I whispered, and before he could say or do anything else, I pulled away and ran back to my car, turning it on and speeding out of his driveway, breathing heavily.
-
One week later
-
The dance was tonight, and I wasn't exactly excited. Peter hadn't even looked at me since our 'meeting' at his house, but the girls had explained to their dates and we were all going in a group. So I was finally dressed, in my beautiful dress, with my makeup all done, and my hair slightly curled.
Her dress:

As Sabs said, if peter was going to cheat on me, I might as well make him regret it.
So at 8 pm, I stepped out of the limo we rented. Yelling, laughing girls surrounded me, talking about all the drama that had happened this week, and I couldn't help but want to join in. As much as I missed peter, he had hurt me, and He was being stubborn about it, so I decided to have a night with my girls. I looked stunning, I felt confident, and my friends were here to support me.
As we walked into the gym, Kate linked her arm with mine. The gym was only lit up by fairy lights, and I reminded me so much of that night peter and I spent together. There were decorations lined across the walls, and a long table filled with food.
"Hey. You know he's gonna be here tonight, right?" Kate said quietly to me as we walked across and spotted the lacrosse team at the center of everyone's attention.
"Yeah," I said back, sighing. "I guess it doesn't bother me that much," I said as we set all our stuff down at a table and made our way to the center of the room, "I can't do anything about it." I said decisively as Blow your Mind by Dua Lipa came on. Kate spun me around and all of us girls started dancing in a circle.
"Well then," Kate laughed as she spun me around, "let's show you off for him."

-

The night was winding down, and the girls had all gone to dance with their dates. I slipped outside and sat on the front steps to the school, admiring the stars that shined so beautifully from the sky.
I heard the door open and expected to see a couple come out, but instead I found peter.
He sat down beside me silently. We looked up at the stars, my dress splayed out between us, his face slightly stained from tears which I pretended not to see.
We sat there for what must have been 20 minutes in silence before he reached over and silently took my hand, and said,
"I talked to Sanderson. I'm an asshole, Covey. I don't deserve you." His voice was quiet and low, and I knew he really was sorry.
Gently, I leaned over and kissed him in the cheek.
"We'll be assholes together, then."

OK I DEFINITELY COULD HAVE MADE THIS CHAPTER BETTER BUT I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYS WAITING UGH!
ok so after that I hope this chapter didn't absolutely suck, and if it did I apologizeeeee.
Next chapter should be up by or on Saturday, so buckle your seatbelts.

Love you all, and thank you so much for reading!!

Xoxo,
Graygray