I Like Me Better | to all the boys I've loved before

Together again: Part 1

It was 11 pm, and the girls, the entire lacrosse team, and I were at the diner for prom night snacks.
We were all decked out in our fancy gear, and were trying to figure out what we wanted to do for the rest of the night. Sabs suggested we break into a McDonald's and spend the night, which Tucker (the only reasonable boy on the lax team) and I quickly shut down.
We were debating, throwing food at each other, and finally, John said,
"Well, my parents are out of town and we have a ton of rooms," he shrugged. He was right. John Emerson was super rich because his dad co-owned John Deere,

A/N: get that judgy look off your face, I know it's there, but I just made the John Deere thing up, ok? 😂

And their house was huge. John was the sweetest guy, and never showed off, but he was a favourite for hanging out.
His parents were both workaholics, and were almost never home. Because of that, Emerson House parties were legendary, and his parents didn't really care either.
But it wasn't until everyone started cheering and we were on our way back to my house to pick up clothing that I realised something.
"I don't want to go tonight," I blurted out to The girls, who all started freaking out.
"Lara Jean, this is the night everyone loses their v card, and you have to go!" Kate exclaimed, pulling my arm like a 4 year old.
"I know," I sighed and looked out of the window dramatically, "It's just I just got back together with Peter, and...oh, I don't know, it would just be awkward and weird."
Chloe nodded beside me, "you don't want to mess it up," she agreed, and I found myself feeling grateful that she was on my side. But Kate said quietly, "Ya know, he's probably feeling the exact same. I highly doubt he's gonna do anything tonight. Come with us!" She exclaimed as she pulled up in front of my house, which was the last stop before we went over to John's. I dashed up to my bedroom to pack a quick bag, and stopped, plopping down in front of my dresser. I grabbed some short sweatshorts and a tank top, then my toothbrush and toothpaste. For the next day, I packed jeans and a white and black blouse.
Sliding it into my duffel bag, I dashed back down the stairs and stopped, leaning against the front door, then sighed, flung it open, and raced across the lawn.
-
We were at John's, in our pyjamas, sitting on the couch, waiting for the rest of the team to get there. I was sitting cross-legged on the counter, sharing a tub of vanilla ice cream with Kate and Tucker, who was here with the 8 boys who were already here.
The doorbell rung, followed by a series of seven knocks, which informed us that it was the guys. Once everyone was there, I looked up to see Peter, who didn't look much better than he did earlier tonight.
"Alright, rules tonight." John stood up in front of everyone, and a few people laughed.
"1. Anything goes, but if you're too loud, we will shut it down.
2. Clean up your messes please. Y'all know my mom will lose her mind," he turned beet red as he said this, and several people chuckled, probably at some memory.
"And third, Keep it down, please?! Some of us actually want to sleep," John sighed, looking at his girlfriend, Emma, just as Jayden yelled out, "Yeah right!" To the couple. Everyone laughed and went off to find the best room. Peter came up beside me and took my hand awkwardly. He swung it a bit between us, and finally pulled me to a stop at a blue painted door.
"We need to talk." The first thing he had said to me all night. I sighed and walked through the door, replying heavily, "I know."
The room had one king sized bed with  a white and navy blue theme, and lights above the bed.
I sat down on the bed, by the head board, wishing I could just sleep the problem away. He sat down at the foot of the bed, a ways away from me, and he was pretending not to, but I knew he was actually watching my eyes and body language, as if he knew how to read them.
There was an uncomfortable silence as we sat there, until Kate came in with 2 grande iced lattes, and set them on the bed, yelling,
"Talk, you two!!" And she scampered out as if we would bite.
Peter sighed and reached for a coffee.
"She's right. But before we do..." he trailed off and took a sip of his latte.
"What, Peter?" I asked softly. The tension in here was insane, both of us being incredibly careful around the other, and I hated it. The one thing I relied on with Peter was that I always felt like I could do whatever, or say whatever and be free around him. But that's out the window now.
"It's just, where do we even stand, covey?" He asked me. Well, he's back to calling me Covey, so I guess that's a start.
"I don't know, Peter. We can't just go back to how we were, I can't just forget this!" I said, a bit too sharply, and I instantly regretted my tone. The shame that passed over his face was intense and it hurt me, too, to think that I had caused it.
" I know. Just hear me out, ok? I can't lose you." He said quietly back, submissively. I felt anger come in and mix with my sadness as I realised only he was really at fault here. I had never, ever cheated on him, or thought about it. And I guess he didn't either, but it was only hours after josh kissed me, and we hadn't even officially broken up, and he had his hands all over Gen! How fast can one guy rebound?
Peter sipped his coffee, and I could see it was his attempt at calming himself down.
"Ok, let me just...I'll just tell you everything, from the beginning." He said, and started to tell me.

Peters POV (bet yall didn't expect this mwahaha) the night Josh kissed Lara Jean:

We had just won the game, and I was hyped, man.
I made my way through the crowds of cheering people to the group of girls Standing there in their cheer uniforms, and there was my Lara jean. She hadn't seen me yet, and I was kind of glad, because it gave me time to watch her. She had really broken out of her shell and was laughing and talking, almost the centre of attention, but she would never realise that. Her smile was amazing, and I fell in love with her laugh everyday. I never told her, but I'm not at all a jokester. But since I've met her, I've been so desperate to make her laugh, just so I could see her beautiful laugh, and hear the joy in her voice as she talked afterward.
I snuck up behind her and spun her around as she shrieked and demanded I put her down, as I just chuckled.
God, she's so beautiful.
I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"How would you feel about me going out with the guys tonight?" I asked her hopefully, as my friends came up behind me. They had Suggested we all go to Dave and Busters to celebrate. Most of the girls had left, but I figured she could get a ride with someone.
And Lara Jean, being the angel she is, simply smiled and said,
"Of course. Have fun, guys."
The guys cheered and pulled me away, and as we all walked off, I turned and saw her go and sit down by the bleachers.
"Wow, man, I can't believe you have to ask your girlfriend for permission to go out!" Joe said, shaking his head. I shrugged.
"I mean, I was the one that gave her a ride here. Besides, I'm her man," I said, "it's my job to take care of her." Tucker clapped me on the back.
"Yeah, see yall need to learn from Peter, because he's the only type of guy I'd want dating my sister," he said.
"Or dating me," he added. Tucker's girlfriend, who was walking back with us, shot him a look.
"Speaking of, I don't think I'm gonna go tonight, you guys," I said, Turning around. The more I thought about it, the more I realised I'd much rather be watching ' home alone 'with Lara Jean and cookies tonight than be with the guys and stay up late.
"Oh, come on man, we won! College scouts were there, this could be our big break. Come celebrate with us!" Tucker said, as we reached his car.
"I'm sorry you guys. Maybe another time?" I asked, but I didn't really mean it.
I started jogging back to Lara Jean. As I jogged, I formed a plan in my head.
Tonight, I would take Covey back to my place, we'd make cookies and order milkshakes, then build a blanket fort and watch home alone in it. She'd love it.
The smile on my face grew subconsciously bigger as I thought about how happy she'd be.
I reached the field, and it started pouring rain; I was drenched within minutes. There was a pretty big crowd in the middle of it, with their phones out, videoing and watching something, but I had no idea what it was. Slowing my jog, I pushed my way through, and was stunned by what I saw.
Josh and Lara Jean Kissing.
I saw her eyes glance at me as she pulled away, and before I knew what was happening, I had turned and darted across the field, tears stinging my eyes. She was running after me, but I couldn't bear it. That night, all I did was sit in my car and cry, until I could bring myself to drive home, lug myself into bed, and cry more.
Until I got a text.

Cliiiiiiifffhangeeeeerrrrr!!!
I'm so sorry you guys, but it had to be this way. What do yall think of the peter POV thing?
Also, for those of you wondering, this has been another week of me sitting outside choir (skipping hehehe) to write this chapter cause I have a vb game tomorrow. Greeeeat.
Anywho, this is part one, and part 2 will be going up at some point in the next week. See yall then!!

XOXO,
Graygray