Particular taste S.M || ✔

Nine

While he's touching your skin

He's right where I should, where I should be

Woman ~ Harry Styles

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Waking up with two arms holding me close to him is something I always wanted but now I would love to do everything to just not have him next to me, I would like to have someone else beside me but I need to forget that person and get over it and start my life with Scott maybe. "Hi sleepy head, did you sleep good?" I turn around so my face is now in front of Scott his face. "I had the best sleep in such a long time." I wish I could say the same but for some reason I can't do that anymore.

"And you?" I close my eyes and lay my head at his chest, I try to feel something for him and maybe when I feel his heartbeat I can try to feel the same for him after all. "I had a good sleep as good as it could be." He kisses my hair and I normally loved that but now I wanted someone else to do this to me, someone who is now probably still asleep in his bed and maybe with someone else next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

I look up at Scott who always knew how everything was here, he was the guy who got me as the best and gave me the right view on some guys and when I needed him he was nowhere to be found and I was left with Christian who broke me by playing with my mind all the time. "I don't know what I am going to do with Christian." Scott his jaw tensed up just by saying his name and for some reason it gave me a good feeling but not the feeling I want to feel for him, what I need to feel for him.

"I can help you with that if you let me." I look confused at him and he chuckles. "You are so clueless sometimes." I shake my head and look up at him, trying not to let him see that I don't feel something for him anymore, I was done with those feelings a while ago and now I just need them back. "How can you help me with that?" He places my legs at the both sides of his lap and looks me in the eyes. "Let me be your boyfriend."

I know I should have been happy with it but I can't be now, I don't want him to be here with me, I want to be at Shawn his place, I want Shawn next to me but I am here now with Scott who is another option for me. "I don't know Scott, I don't want you to act like it." I hold my breath and see Scott blushing a little bit. "I am not going to act like one Sabrina, it won't be hard for me to act like I like you a lot, it is pretty obvious." I nod my head and before I know it Scott his lips are on mine and it felt okay but not what I wanted my whole life, I don't want to pretend my whole life.

I pull away from Scott who looks confused at me, I don't know how I am going to do this my whole life but I do know I can fake it in front of my parents and Christian who are up my ass the whole time now. I guess Scott can be usefull after all, I just wanted it to be real but my feelings for him are no longer real so I guess I need to accept the consequences once I don't need him any longer and that will be the moment I break someone else their heart but for once it won't be my own that is broken, I am going to be the reason it is broken.

"So what are we going to do?" I shrug my shoulders and take my clothes out of the little bag I had with me, I am going to leave this house tonight and I don't care how I will but be sure I won't stay any second longer in this house here. "We will see what my mom has planned, you know how she is and how she loves to be in control of everything." That is something I am not lying about, she had my life in control too when I lived here, she made my planning and I just needed to live like it, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I walk into the bathroom and look at my brown-green eyes that have nothing inside them, no emotion for any person in this house, this house makes me an emotionless person so maybe once I am back home, I can have feelings for Scott or try to get them back, it can't be that hard to get old feelings back after all. "Are you ready?" Scott walks closer to me and pecks my lips. "How can I be this lucky?" I look down and see my long yellow skirt with flowers and a basic top and some green shoes. "I can say the same about you."