Particular taste S.M || ✔

Eighteen

I know a girl, she's like a curse

We want each other, no one will break first

Why ~ Shawn Mendes

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It is not that I have never been in love before or that I have never liked a guy before because I did and it made me realise that true love is rare to have in your life, it is so hard to find real love in a world like this, the world we live in now is crappy and to find something really good in it is probably the hardest thing to do in your life. For me real love is not always the person you want to be with your whole life sometimes meeting a person in five seconds can be more real love than a love that you felt for someone that you know for such a long time in your life.

"Sabrina can you open the door?" I walk to the door wearing my night dress even tho it is already noon and I should have done a lot in the house but I am too tired to think or to do something. "Scott what are you doing here?" I look at Scott holding a helmet in his hands showing me his one million smile that I always loved in my life but now I see the hurt in it too that I did, I was one of the reasons he is less happy, less Scott. 

"Don't close the door." Scott smiles and I should know at that moment I would made a big mistake for not closing the door but I should try to be a better person from now on and if that means talking to Scott after such a long time than sure. "I won't, I promise." Scott shakes his head and I look confused at him, I look for an emotion in his eyes and see the sadness in them and the hurt and it hurts me to look at him knowing he is this way because of what I did to him, if I had know it would be that hard, I wouldn't have done that to him.

"Please no more promises Sabrina." I nod my head and it hurts me, the words he said because he makes it sound like I broke all the promises I made to him, I never did break them because I never made them in the first place because I was sure I would break them at that moment in my life, I am still a person who doesn't care about other people their feelings. "I want to talk to you, I want to know the real reason about you and why you came back again after leaving everything behind." I open my door wider and Scott walks inside.

"I will get ready and we can leave than." He nods his head and I start to take off my nightdress while searching for the new clothes I want to wear, I don't want to look too good because that is not a good idea but I don't want to look like I don't care to. So I go for the black ripped jeans with a basic white shirt tucked inside it with my grey denim jacket. My hair is still in the ponytail I made earlier and my make up is natural enough to leave the house. "Shall we leave?" 

Scott gets up and hands me his helmet while I look at Daniel his room where he is too busy gaming, he does nothing else these days, he doesn't want to do something in the house and I am quit irritated by it and I will tell him about it and I wanted to do that now but Scott is now here and that is not the best idea to do that now so I will do it once I am back home. "Since when do you drive a motorcycle?" I get on the motorcycle and it was something I always wanted to do, I got on them all the time when I found a guy who had it, it was something that turned me on. "A week after you left me."

Scott starts to drive his motorcycle and I hold my arms around his waist and squeeze them tight when he started to drive fast, it felt like I was free for the first time in my life, it felt amazing to be finally free, it was like I was a bird who could finally fly on her own, I don't know how to explain it otherwise but I do know I want to feel this more, I want to feel this all day long, I want to feel free in my life, something I never was before but I can be now, I can finally become the person I always wanted to be in the first place when I grew up, I don't need to be my mother.