Clandestine

Four

"Namjoon-ah?"

"네?" (Yes?) I mumbled, turning to find Jimin standing in the doorway. "Oh, hey. What's up?"

We'd been closer once.

What had been mistaken for love in our trainee days and the early years of our stardom was a temptation we'd both grown out of, agreeing that it was better left forgotten in the past.

"You're..okay right? You're eating; getting enough rest?" He asked once he'd taken a seat on the couch behind me with concern laced in his voice.

"Oh, y-yeah, I'm good. Just got a bit carried away with some new songs." It was rare for us to have these one on one moments anymore. Aside from live-streams, he rarely ever came to see me.

I felt bad lying to him; sure I've been taking care of myself, but I've been so busy trying to get things ready for Maya's arrival that I've been neglecting them to say the least.

In a week, my wife would be here. And along with planning, stress has had us both on edge. Anything could go wrong, and then all of this would have been for nothing.

"I know how you get with that, hyung. Just take it easy on yourself, okay?"

"Of course." I began to turn back to my screen when he'd gone quiet for some time.

"And there's nothing else? Nothing I should be worried about?" I sighed in response. I hate that he could still read me so easily. Hiding things from Tae was easy, Jimin, on the other hand, knew all my tricks.

"You think there's something else?"

"Forget it," he said waving it off as he stood.

"Jiminie, you don't have to lie about it; what's wrong?"

He looked down uncertainty washing over him as he spoke. "You've been different lately. Distant." Oh. "You don't come home until late, and when you do come to the dorms early, you stay isolated in your room. You don't even come out to eat with us anymore...We don't know what to to think...We're just..we're worried." He paused, taking a step towards me. "I'm worried...And you know you can tell me anything, right Joonie?"

With Maya on her way, I need to start doing damage control. Being a good leader and friend is part of that. If I an't handle both now, why will I do later on?

"Jimin, there's nothing wrong with me. I've never been better, really. I just have had a lot of ideas; it's been hard to tear myself away from work. I'll take a break though if it worries you guys. I haven't been around like I should be, it's not fair to you all."

To think, just a few years ago we were still seeing each other made the timeline in my mind feel so much shorter. Things only really stopped a few months before I met Maya. Now I'm married and working with my ex that no one knows is my ex and he doesn't know that I'm married and he might think there's still a chance for things to work out between us and it's just all such a big mess.

"I-is that all this was about?" I queried. "Or is this about-"

"I'm here to check up on you, not to beg you to come back," he started coldly, throwing the rest of his words over his shoulder as he stalked towards the door. "It didn't work out. End of story."

Though before closing the door, he whispered, "I'm still here for you though, Joon. Even if you don't want me to be."

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That night, Maya called and I had to rush to answer before Tae could sneak a peak at the Caller ID.

"네?"

"Joon, is he there?"

"Mhm,"I hummed, turning over my shoulder slightly to see my roommate peering over at me curiously.

"Well get rid of him, I need to show you something." I racked my mind for an excuse that he'd believe, finally settling on saying my sister needed my help.

"It'll just be a minute, I promise!" I called after him as he walked down the hall before shutting the door. "Alright baby, what's up?"

"Look outside," she instructed.

"Maya, I swear to God-"before I could even think of what to say next, I was greeted by her beautiful smile and a wave. "Baby-"

There she stood, on the pavement outside the complex with a heavy coat on and her face lit by the street lights.

"Don't worry, I'm not staying. I just wanted to surprise you..we left a few days early."

"A few?" She giggled.  "And where are Una and Jeremy?" I asked, still in awe.

"At the hotel. I told them I was gonna go get some groceries." I shook my head. Of course she did. She'd told her friends that she was moving in with a family here while she finished school; not far from the truth, but just enough of a lie that they wouldn't ask questions.

"You're just full of surprises aren't you?"

"You have no idea." I could hear the smirk from here. A cab honked behind her,echoing from her side of the call. "I gotta go before he drives off."

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. I'll wait." She blew me a kiss before retreating. "My mom's gonna love you," I said, sitting back down on my bed.

"You think so?"

"Of course, baby." My eyes furrowed at the question.

"What about the whole racial-barrier thing?"

"Baby," I sighed. "We talked about this. My mom has accepted the choices I've decided to make in my life and you are one of them. You're smart, kind, beautiful; everything she could hope for in a daughter-in-law, so don't worry." I could feel her relax. "You gotta stop stressing yourself out, baby."

"Okay, okay," she laughed. "You're right."

"Good, now go have fun with your friends. Use these last few days spending time with them, not on the seconds you'll get to see me." A giggle wormed its way past her lips in the silence.

"You should've seen your face!"

"Jagi, you had me scared to death. 'Look out the window' ," I mimicked. "I didn't know what to expect! You could've been in the room behind me for all I knew!"

"Ha! I'm good, but not that good."

"Good! I would've had a heart attack if I'd turned around and saw you there." Once our laughter died down, it was time fo her to get out of the cab. "I love you, Maya."

"And I love you, Joonbug. Just a few more days now." And before I could get out another word, she ended the call.

"Taehyungie!" I called down the hallway. He came bolting back into view begging for details on the crush catastrophe of my sister that I'd fabricated not too long ago. "My little sister's love-life is none of your business."